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What is wrong with Pro Wrestling today by Dory Funk Jr.

How would you compare wrestling today with wrestling in the 70's when you were champion? What do you think is wrong with wrestling today? I don't watch wrestling anymore, but I want you to know in the 70's I used to take my family to the wrestling matches every week at the Charlotte Coliseum. What is your opinion of pro wrestling today?

After receiving over a thousand E-Mail messages since I put up our home page, these are the most common comments I receive about the wrestling business today. What is wrong with the wrestling business? Why do I receive so many comments like those above? To put it in perspective, lets apply today's professional wrestling criteria to another very popular and successful professional sport, the NFL.

It is the Green Bay Packers in a return match against the Philadelphia Eagles. The score is tied at 21. With three minutes to go in the game the Packers have the ball at the 50 yard line. Green Bay Quarterback Bret Favre drops back to pass and 15 Dallas Cowboys run out on the field and beat the crap out of the Packers along with the help of the Philadelphia Eagles. To top it off, they strip Bret Favre of his jersey and paint a yellow streak down his back. Then with no competition, Troy Aikman takes a snap from center and gives the ball to Emmit Smith who streaks toward the goal only to run head on into the Miami Dolphins. They all fight out the stadium into the parking lot where they depart in their limousines, Lincolns, and Cadillacs.

Meanwhile back in the stadium the seven NFL officials have a conference and declare this one a "No Contest" or better yet a, "Double Count Out."

What is wrong with professional wrestling today?

The following week over at Texas Stadium, Dallas is looking awful against the Arizona Cardinals. The Cards lead the Cowboys 35 to 0. The problem? Troy Aikman. He's dropping the snap. He's fumbling the hand offs. He's throwing the easy interception. He's never looked so bad in all of his life.

Suddenly, he takes a huge hit from the Cardinal's middle linebacker... off comes his helmet...AND HIS TROY AIKMAN MASK!!! Under the mask is Bret Favre, disguised as Troy Aikman, out there to make the Cowboys look bad. As his ruse is discovered, Eric Williams and the entire Cowboy offensive line start whaling away at him. But suddenly, from the visitors locker room, out charges the entire Green Bay Packer team, seeking revenge for their loss in last tear's NFC championship. A pissed-off Sean Jones grabs Deion Sanders, ripping his pants off, showing that Prime Time Sanders is wearing underwear of a, Shall we say, "feminine Style".

As the melee continues, Barry Switzer eyeballs the exits, and he almost gets away into the stadium when Reggy White, who was sitting in the first row at the 50-yard line, jumps over the rails and gives Switzer a pile driver, knocking him out. Earl Dotson slaps the Sleeper Hold onto Eric Williams, and the entire Dallas Police Department is called in to quiet the rukus.

Commissioner Pete Rozelle orders a return match next year between the Cowboys and the Eagles with tables, ladders and chairs inside a steel cage. The game will continue until one player is able to climb out of the cage and land feet first on the 50 yard line. No footballs will be allowed.

***

Is there something wrong with professional wrestling today?

Dory Funk Jr.

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