!BANG! TV Report
Airdate: January 30, 2003
Cox Cable Channel 16 Ocala, FL
Written by James Malone aka Sign Guy

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    Hello and welcome to the latest edition of the !BANG! TV Report. Before I
begin, I would like to note a programming change. Starting on Friday night,
January 31 and every Friday night at 1 AM, !BANG! will be moving to WOGX TV
Fox 51. Also, the next !BANG! TV taping titled "Cold War" will take place on
Saturday night, February 22, at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. More on
that later.

    Today's show opened up with a welcome from Coach Dory Funk, Jr. and the
Funking Conservatory Triple Crown Champion, The Royal Stud Adam Windsor. Dory
and Adam briefly talked about the "Cold War" TV taping on February 22. Dory
then announced the first match.

    Today's show kicked off with tag team action as the Funking Conservatory
Tag Team Champions The Lost Boyz, Azrael & Slim J, defended the belts against
their longtime NWA Wildside rivals Blackout, Rainman & Murder One.
    The match started off with Azrael and Rainman. Azrael took Rainman down
to the mat with a drop toehold. Rainman would counter with a reverse
hammerlock. Once both men were up. Azrael caught Rainman with a series of
kicks followed up by an armtwist into an armbar. Rainman would reverse the
hold into an armbar of his own. Azrael countered back into an armlock and a
few more quick kicks into Rainman's stomach. Azrael then made the tag to Slim
    Slim J cam in and he and Azrael double teamed Rainman with a combination
DDT facebuster. Slim J went for the first cover of the match, but referee
"The Claw"  could only make a two count. Slim J whipped Rainman into the
ropes and connected with a spin kick. Slim J would make the tag back to
    Azrael was back in and continued the assault on Rainman with three kicks
to the forehead. Azrael would follow up on Rainman with a sit down bodyslam.
Azrael tagged Slim J back in.
    Slim J went right for the cover, but Rainman kicked out at two. Slim J
attempted to whip Rainman into the ropes, but Rainman reversed and caught
Slim J with a butt first bomb. Rainman was finally able to tag his partner.
    Murder One made his way into the ring for the first time in the match and
went right to work on Slim J two big kicks, a whip into the ropes, and
followed up with a clothesline. Murder One then picked up Slim J and gave him
a bodyslam and a forearm to the head as well as a forearm shot to the back.
Murder One made the tag to Rainman.
    Both members of Blackout would give Slim J a double hiptoss. Rainman went
for the cover, but Slim J kicked out at two. Rainman then whipped Slim J into
the ropes and caught him with a nice dropkick. Rainman went for another
cover, but the count was broken at two when Azrael ran into the ring and
kicked Rainman in the head. Rainman then tagged Murder One back in.
    Murder One continued on Slim J with a brainbuster. Murder One went for
the pin, but somehow Slim J kicked out at two. Murder One whipped Slim J into
the ropes and went for a clothesline, but Slim J ducked and gave Murder One a
lick to the back of his knee. Slim J followed up with a spin kick to the back
of Murder One's head. Slim J was finally able to get to his corner to tag
    Azrael was in and started off against both members of Blackout punching
both Rainman and Murder One. Azrael picked up Rainman and dropped him with a
sidewalk slam. Azrael then took Murder One and threw him in the corner and
followed up with a big boot to the head of Rainman, who was in the opposite
corner. Azrael then made the tag to Slim J.
    The Claw was starting to lose control of the match with all four men in
the ring at the same time. Murder One threw Azrael out of the ring as Slim J
attempted to whip Rainman into the ropes. Rainman reversed the whip and he
along with Murder One picked up Slim J and executed their finishing move, the
420. Murder One folded up Slim J for the three count and the victory. Your
winners and new Funking Conservatory Tag Team Champions, Blackout.

    The next segment would feature the promotional video of rising star Red
Power. This video shows Red in a training match with Billy "BJ" Jerkins, a
promo with Domino talking to Adam Windsor and Alex Breslin, and in her debut
match with Alex fighting for the Funking Conservatory Women's Championship.
Alex would win the match but Red would show Alex the power of Red Power. Red
even fought off Missy Hyatt and took off with the Women's Championship belt
which she had to give back.

    After the video, commercials for the Funking Conservatory starring Missy
Hyatt and the gym where the wrestlers work out was shown.

    Dory and Adam were back after the commercial break. Dory asked Adam what
he had in his hands. Adam told Dory and the viewers that he had the brand new
"The Claw Is The Law 1-2-3" T-shirt featuring the Funking Conservatory's head
referee, Claudia Reiff aka The Claw, and that the shirts would be available
at "Cold War" on February 22.
    Adam then asked Dory if he knew a secret about The Claw. Dory then said
that there was one wrestler that The Claw REALLY liked. The spot cut to
footage of the Claw wearing a blonde wig and shouting "WHOOOOOOOOOO". She was
impersonating her favorite wrestler, Ric Flair.
    The Claw then started shaking the ropes and strutting just like Flair and
still screaming "WHOOOOOOOOOO". The Claw then dropped to her knees and fell
on her face just like Flair. She then walked on her knees screaming "Owww, my
banana nose!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!" and then fell forward again.

    In today's main event, we looked at the closing moments from the Texas
Death Match which was shown on !BANG! a few weeks ago with Adam Windsor and
Blackout's Murder One for the Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight
Championship. Adam fought back by knocking Rainman out and heading back to
the ring where he rammed Murder One's head into the top turnbuckle. As Murder
One stood on the outside apron of the ring dazed and confused, Adam bounced
off the ropes and hit Murder One sending him off of the apron and through the
photo table.    Adam threw Murder One back into the ring and made a cover for
three. With Murder One down, The Claw started her ten count. Murder One made
it back up at nine. Once Murder One was up, he turned around and was clocked
over the head with a chair by Adam.
    Adam then left the ring and grabbed a metal trash can over by the ring
announcer. Adam took the trash can and hit Murder One in the head with it. As
Adam went to pick up Murder One, Murder One caught him with a low blow.
Murder One called to Rainman to grab another table and bring it into the
ring. Once
the table was set up, Murder One went to powerbomb Adam through the table,
but     Adam countered and gave Murder One a backdrop away from the table.
Adam went to bounce off the ropes, but Rainman tripped him again. That would
be Rainman's last mistake as he was knocked silly by Dory Funk, Jr.. Dory
threw Rainman into the ring and Adam picked him up in position for what
looked like the Kryptonite Krunch. Adam took Rainman and executed the
Kryptonite Krunch through the table knocking Rainman out cold.
    Adam then went to the top turnbuckle and waited for Murder One to turn
around. Murder One turned around with a chair in his hands and Adam came off
the top rope with the missile dropkick into the chair which went into Murder
One's head knocking him nearly out. Adam made the cover for three and then
rolled off onto his back.
    The Claw then started the ten count on both wrestlers. Both men looked
like they would both be up by nine, but Murder One fell back down as Adam
made it back to his feet and The Claw counted to ten. The Claw called for the
bell and
raised Adam's hand in victory. Your winner of the Texas Death Match and still
Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Champion, The Royal Stud Adam Windsor.

    The show ended with Dory and Adam thanking the fans and viewers for
watching and then presented a video of the stars of the Funking Conservatory.
The video featured Dory, Adam, Blackout, Missy Hyatt, Domino, Sledgehammer,
Red Power, Carly Colon, Johnny Heartbreaker, Alex Breslin, and the best
referee in the business Claudia Flair...oops Reiff aka The Claw.

    The next !BANG! TV taping is "Cold War" and will take place at the Dory
Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. Already confirmed on the card will be the Funking
Conservatory Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor, Red Power,
and Dixie. More wrestlers will be named and the main event will be announced
in the weeks to come. Dory Funk, Jr. will be on hand with The Claw
officiating the action.

    See you all next week.

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the !BANG! Newsletter
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory's Home Page