The most accurate determination ever!!!
Who really would win the matches between the greatest of all time?
Dory has gathered all of the information he is able to garner from his personal memory of these great wrestlers and all that we have been able to obtain.
We have meticulously fed it into Dyno, our new 20 gigabyte computer.
Dyno has processed this information and given us the winner of each match.
Dory Funk Jr.
Olympic Auditorium In Los Angeles
Funk and Ladd start cautiously. Ladd starts with a headlock. Dory Funk Jr. reverses the headlock and Big Ernie throws Funk into the ropes. As Funk comes off, Ladd drops flat, Funk goes over to the other side and charges back, Ladd leapfrogs right over the top of Funk and as Funk comes off the other side, Ladd catches Funk with a size 18 foot right to the face. Ladd is up quick and jabs Funk into the neck with his thumb. Funk is having trouble breathing. Ladd brings Funk up in a headlock and goes for the thumb again but from within the headlock, Funk raises Ladd high in the air and drops Ladd's shin across Funk's knee. This shatters Ladd's weak knee from football injuries and makes him easy prey for Dory Funk Jr.'s famous spinning toe hold. Winner of the match, Dory Funk Jr.
Walter Palmer (Battle of Spinning Toe Holds)
Bull Barn in Hereford, Texas
Before the match is under way, Terry is going through the crowd. He chases some kid from his chair and smashes the chair to bits. Terry comes into the ring with the leg of a chair in the back of his tights. The referee rings the bell and Terry hits Palmer over the head with the leg of the chair. Palmer crumbles and Terry applies the Spinning Toe Hold. The winner of the match, Terry Funk.
Ed Strangler Lewis
Finals of the NCAA Tournament.
At the bell, Lewis goes for his famous headlock and clamps it on. Immediately, Kurt Angle reverses the headlock to an Olympic Slam and Lewis never raises his shoulders. The winner with the Olympic slam, Kurt Angle.
Gene Kiniski, Big Thunder attacks Windsor from the start with hard chops to the chest and a back breaker across his knee. Kiniski slams Windsor and follows up with his famous Giant Swing. Windsor passes out but comes to just in time to beat the three count. Kiniski slams Windsor three times and dives across the prone body of Adam Windsor. Windsor is again down for almost a three count. Kiniski throws Windsor into the ropes and swings with a hard chop but Windsor ducks and comes with a Super Kick to the chin of Kiniski and in a real upset, Kiniski is knocked out and Windsor covers for the pin. Winner Adam Windsor.
Flair starts fast throwing Inoki into the turnbuckle and hits him with chop after chop and the fans are going crazy yelling Whooooooooo with every chop. Flair throws Inoki across the ring but Inoki reverses it and throws Flair into the corner. Flair goes up and over the turnbuckle landing on the apron. Flair runs to the opposite turnbuckle and climbs to the top rope. 20,000 people yell in unison, "Body slam him from the top rope." Inoki obligingly slams Flair from the top rope. Flair backs into the corner and begs off. Inoki hits him with three hard punches and backs off. Ric Flair walks to the center of the ring and falls face first to the mat. Inoki covers for the win. Winner of the match, Antonio Inoki.
Rob Van Dam Draws a bye
Moving on to round 8 of the All Time Greatest of the Greats
Dory Funk Jr.
Rob Van Dam
Next week, the final five go at it to see who is the All Time Greatest
of the Greats.