In Funk's Corner

By Dory Funk Jr.

"Feel the Rush"

You cut an interview on television striking fear into the heart of your opponent. It is show time and your match is up. You are standing in the "Gorilla Position."* You hear the introduction for your opponent, the roar of the crowd and his entrance music. Now it is your turn. You check your shoe laces, tights and ring jacket to make sure everything is just right. Your music is playing. You wait for the third bar. The beat is loud and clear. "It rocks!!" You open the curtain and the fans cheer as you step out on the stage and into the spotlight. "Feel the rush."

Once in the ring, you have confidence in yourself and the things you are going to do. You approach your opponent cautiously, collar and elbow tie up, he takes a headlock, you throw him off into the ropes, he charges into you knocking you to the ground. You are back on your feet quick, he charges again and you sidestep and catch him with a hip lock. You throw him high and he lands hard on the mat. He is up quick and you arm drag him and hold him down. The referee is in for a two count and he pulls his shoulder up. Your opponent comes to his feet and throws a hard forearm blow to your chin. You let go of the arm and try to catch your balance. He is in for a body slam on you. You crash into the mat. Your opponent is on top for a count of two. You are out and on your feet quickly. He crams you into the corner and pummels you with devastating forearm blows. He throws you hard into the opposite corner. You bounce out under control. He bends forward in position for a backdrop and you fly over the top and execute a beautiful Sunset Flip, reminiscent of the late great Dinty Parks.** Your opponent's shoulders are down on the mat and the referee counts three.

You release your opponent and come to your feet. The crowd is cheering and when the referee jacks your hand, they scream even louder in support of your victory. "Feel the rush."

You can experience it all here at the Funking Conservatory. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. In professional wrestling, you can hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth to win the game and you can do it every time.

The show is over, you have packed your bags and are leaving the Dory Funk Arena. As you exit the building, there are fans who have waited after the show for an opportunity to meet the wrestlers. A child comes up to you and says, "Could I have your autograph please?" "Feel the rush."

We are coed and we also train referees, managers, commentators and promoters.

The Funking Conservatory is a pro-wrestling training school.

*  The Gorilla Position so named for Gorilla Monsoon who worked that spot for WWE.
** Sunset Flip was invented by Dinty Parks of North Bay Ontario Canada..