Dory Funk Jr. Gunslinger Rap
Marti said, "Jerry, Dory just got a birthday cake from some fans, I want you to put it on top of his head."
Jerry Lawler, always the comic, surprised her with his response. "No, No, I can't do that to Dory."
"Yes, yes you can, Please do it. Do it, Jerry, I have faith in you, your the King."
Jerry Lawler loved the idea but still refused. "I can not do something that horrible to Dory Funk Jr., I just can't."
Marti pushed him, "King, you are a chicken. You are the king of the chickens if you don't put the cake on Dory's head."
Jerry said, "I would love to, but I just can't do that to the former world champion."
Marti pushed again, "Don't worry, Dory won't get mad. He will just think it is funny. Dory has a great sense of humor. Please do it to him. It is so good, you must put the cake on his head."
Lawler said, "He will get mad, It is a great idea, but I just can't do it to him."
We were at the first Eddie Gilbert Memorial show in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania wrestling for Dennis Corraluzzo. I wrestled Eddie's father, Tommy Gilbert in the Legend's Match. Jerry Lawler was against Doug Gilbert, Al Snow wrestled Dan Severn, Jim Cornett, Sabu, and Tommy Rich were also on the card.
After the show we went to a restaurant where we knew the wrestlers from the card that night would be showing up. The food was great, then after dinner a birthday cake was brought out and everyone sang, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Dory. Happy birthday to you." Yes this was my 39th birthday, February 3rd, 1996.
Marti returned to my table along with Jerry Lawler who, (Believe it or not) wished me a happy birthday. Al Snow came over to offer congratulations on my birthday. Marti said, "Al, would you smell the cake. It seems as if something is wrong with the icing on it." With Marti and Lawler both standing right there, Al Snow bent forward and put his nose inches from the cake to smell the icing.
Marti reached for Al's head to give it a little push toward the cake, then **Bam!!!** From behind, Lawler slammed Al Snow's head hard face first into the cake nearly breaking the table.
Al Snow raised up slowly. All you could see for his face was my smashed birthday cake. There was cake in his mouth, cake up his nose, and cake in his eyes. I thought, Oh shit, here comes trouble. He thinks my wife did that to him. Surly he is going to hit her, then all Hell is going to break loose.
Jerry Lawler was laughing and pointing to Marti, saying, "She did it, she pushed your face into that cake." Marti was jumping up and down, pointing at Jerry Lawler saying, "The King did it. Jerry Lawler pushed your face into the cake." Al reached up with both hands and wiped the cake from his eyes, He looked at Lawler, then at Marti, then at me. I braced for the worst.
Al Snow said, Ahhh, German Chocolate, Whipped Cream, and "Crushed Nuts."
Al, You are a nice man
Al Snow, Lawler and Marti, "German Chocolate, Whipped Cream, and Crushed Nuts"
E-Mail Dory Funk Jr.
WrestleFest, 50 Years of Funk
Gunslinger Short Stories
Back to Dory's Home Page