Gunslinger Rap
"West Texas Dog Whuppin" for Rob Van Dam

Joe Schidtt

"My My, Just look at those phoney names they make up for those professional rasslers, Wahoo and Dory Funk Jr." I could over hear the two little old ladies in the front of the limousine talking about the Marque in the front of the Sam Houston Coliseum as we passed by on the way to the Holiday Inn, downtown Houston. The two ladies had no idea who I was. I didn't want to disappoint them by saying, "Hey, Dory Funk Jr. is my real name!"

My first recollection of the name, "Wahoo" was in the Amarillo Globe News in 1955. The headlines on the sports page said, "Wahoo and tribe run over the Sandies." The Sandies being the pride of the Panhandle of Texas high school football team and the Tribe, Midland High School led by their all state fullback, Ed "Wahoo" McDanial.

In the world of sports, a good name is almost as important as performance for marketing purposes. In my days of college football, our head coach at West Texas State, Joe Kerbel always had a special name for his star players. "Mercury" Morris, "Pistol" Pete Pedro and "Corky" Jim Dawson.

My opponent at the up-coming "50 Years of Funk" WrestleFest in Amarillo, is Rob Van Dam. Rob is the best young wrestler in the business and is headed for ***supper stardom*** however, do you think his mommy really named him Rob Van Dam??? This is one ***superstar*** that had better prepare for a good old "West Texas Dog Whuppin!"

Also appearing on "50 Years of Funk" WrestleFest is a classic match-up. Sabu will be wrestling the man with three names, Cactus Jack, Mankind, Dude Love. I only know these men by their ring names and wrestling style of reckless abandon. I hope arrangements for an ambulance to stand by at ringside have been made for this one.

The master of names and gimmicks is Vince McMahon Jr. with "The Undertaker" Mark Callas, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase, "Adorable Adrian Adonis" Kieth Franks, "King Kong Bundy" Chris Pallies, and "Hoss" Funk??? **No Comment**

Many wrestlers came up with their own name and had great success including the biggest name of all, "Hulk Hogan" Terry Boulea, "Dusty Rhodes" Virgil Runnels "Johnny Ace" John Lauranitus, and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.

In Japan, even though there is less emphasis on gimmicks, a good name is important, not only for marketing purposes, but also to give them names that Westerners can easily say and associate with. Some examples are (Giant) Baba, (Jumbo) Tsuruta, (Great Muta) Keiji Mutoh, Golfer {Jumbo Ozaki), (Strong Kobiyashi) and Jushin (Thunder) Liger.

My father, Dory Funk Sr. also was proud of his ability to give someone a name that would be a tag for marketing their talents. He had given names to Buster Lloyd (Rufus R. Jones), Claud Patterson (Thunderbolt Patterson) and (El Diablo) Jack Mizner. He was real proud of himself when he gave Benny Mata back his real name, Jesus Mata (Spanish pronunciation Hay soos) and then in Plainview Texas he booked Jesus Mata against El Diablo. (Spanish for The Devil) "Jesus vs The Devil" Naturally, Jesus won the match.

Harold Jones was working the Amarillo territory and knew of my fathers fondness for giving people good names so he asked if he could have a new name. My father gave him the name Joe Schidtt. He was introduced everywhere as Joe Schidtt. Much to his surprise, All of the fans would laugh at him and call him Fullof Schidtt, Horse Schidtt, Dumb Schidtt, Little Schidtt, Dip Schidtt, etc. etc.

After a week around the territory facing this torment Joe Schidtt couldn't stand it any more. He came to my father in tears and said, "Dory you have got to do something, the fans and the wrestlers are driving me crazy. Everybody thinks my name is a joke. They are making me the laughing stock of the business. Dory please do something. Please change my name." My father told him to settle down and not worry. He would give it some thought and change his name for the next week's bookings. Joe Schidtt was relieved. He thanked my father profusely and left the office feeling great.

The next Monday, Joe showed up in Abilene Texas at the old Fair Park Coliseum. As he entered the dressing room, there it was posted on the dressing room wall, the card for that night. His new name was;

Sam Schidtt.



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