The most accurate determination ever!!!
Who really would win the matches between the greatest of all times?
Dory has gathered all of the
information he is able to garner from his personal memory of these great
all that we have been able to obtain. We have meticulously fed it into Dyno, our new 20 gigabyte computer. Dyno
has processed this information and given us the winner of each match.
Ed Strangler Lewis
The New Kiel Arena, St. Louis - The Rock tells Ed Strangler Lewis to get his "Candy Ass" in the ring. The Rock lays the "Smack Down" with a boot to the gut and slams Lewis into the corner and unleashes a barrage of super kicks and punches. The Rock slams Ed Lewis in the middle of the ring and signals the Corporate Elbow at which time Lewis grabs the Rock's leg and jerks him to the ground. Lewis gets on top of The Rock and applies the Head Lock. Fifteen minutes later, The Rock submits, time 23 minutes.
Fair Park Coliseum, Lubbock Texas - Terry attacks Karl Gotch at the bell and takes him to the floor. They fight to the back of ringside where Terry hits Karl Gotch in the head with a chair and drags him into the concession stand. Terry breaks a jug of mustard over his head. (Mustard covers Gotch and Terry can be heard calling him a yellow coward) They fight back to the ring where Terry dances and jabs at Gotch who can't see because his face is covered in mustard, then Terry knocks him out for the three count with a haymaker to the chin. (Time 18 minutes)
Hiram Bithorn Stadium, San Juan Puerto Rico - It is a rainy night in San Juan. In Bithorn Stadium, the fans are covered but the ring sits at home plate, and it poured. The mat was wet and slippery rendering Hodge's amateur moves useless on the Hard Core fighting Brody. Brody takes Danny Hodge to the ground and it is a sloppy mass of mud. Brody bashes Danny's head into the steel corner post and returns to the ring. Both men are covered in mud as Brody wails away at a bleeding Hodge. Hodge gets a front face lock on Brody only to be on the receiving of a suplex by Brody and a high knee from the corner by Brody for the win in 22 minutes.
Dory Funk Sr.
Tucson, Arizona Arena, Rod Fenton promoter - Dory Funk Sr. was Gene Kiniski's teacher and Gene is at his biggest and strongest. Funk attempts the spinning toe hold but three times in a row, Kiniski makes it to the ropes. Kiniski's knee is severely damaged but pain doesn't bother Big Thunder. Kiniski fights back and tries the back breaker but only hurts his knee. Funk goes for the the toehold again and catches a boot to the face sending him over the top rope. Funk returns to the ring through the ropes but kiniski is on the top rope and comes off with a knee drop to the back and covers for the fall in 33 minutes.
Sam Houston Coliseum, Houston Texas - Flair takes a beating as Valentine lays the heavy wood to him while bent backward over the top ropes. Fifteen minutes elapses as Valentine holds to a front face lock on Flair. Rick fights back and tries to throw Valentine from corner to corner. Big John won't budge and throws Flair to the floor. Rick comes up bleeding and fighting. Now both men are a bloody mess. Flair double-leg dives Valentine and puts both feet on the second rope to steal the victory. Flair in 40 minutes.
Abdullah the Butcher
Toronto, Maple Leaf Gardens - Inoki attacks The Butcher at the bell with repeated punches and chops to the head and blood flies everywhere. Butcher is down and Inoki tries the Cobra Hold but Butcher is too compact and strong. Butcher reaches into his boot and pulls out a stick and cuts Inoki open. Inoki is down and Butcher comes with his big elbow drop but Inoki moves and gains a submission with the sugar hold. (20 minutes)
The Pavilion in Calgary, Alberta - This match matches Bret's all around style against the leg wrestling of Jim Londos. Londos has Bret on his face with a top body scissors in the early going. Londos goes for the half nelson at the 10 minute mark and turns Bret's shoulders to the mat. Bret is out at the count of almost three and fights back with fore-arm blows to the head and neck of Londos. Londos goes for a headlock and Bret back suplexes him followed by the Sharpshooter in 22 minutes.
Eddie Graham Sports Stadium, Orlando. From the start, Eddie goes for Ernie's legs. Not is this always where a good wrestler would attack a big man, but Ernie is a fabulous athlete who left Pro football to become a wrestler and his knees have suffered many injuries. At the ten minute mark the Big Cat from Grambling University fights back and catches Eddie Graham with a big foot to the face, a thumb to the throat, and a cover but Eddie will not go down. Eddie fights out of the corner and sets up for the figure four leg lock and Ernie reaches up and rolls Eddie forward in a cradle position for the pin fall in 22 minutes.
Dory Funk Jr.
Hiram Bithorn Stadium, San Juan - This is a return match following their famous tag team match. (Fabulous Moolah vs Dory and Marti) The match starts with Dory and Carlos going to the floor of Bithorn Stadium and over to the back stop behind home plate where Carlos bashes Dory's head into the announcers table. Dory is bleeding and the rabid Puerto Rican fans are in a near riot stage. Carlos goes for the figure four leg lock but Dory escapes to the ropes. Carlos goes for a suplex from the apron into the ring and the Ringside Photographer, Marti Funk trips his leg and Dory falls on top for the pin fall in 34 minutes.
From the beginning, Ogawa does some nice marshal arts moves and Grecco Roman throws but walks into a hard chop by Wahoo. The Indian throws Ogawa from piller to post, then throws Ogawa into the ropes for his finishing move the big chop from the ropes but Ogawa ducks and throws a side kick to Wahoo's knee. Like Ladd, Wahoo's knees are weak. Ogawa follows with a spin kick to the head and covers for the pin-fall in 23 minutes.
Civic Center in Albuquerque, New Mexico - The fans are heavily in favor of Romero as he throws miniature sombreros to the fans at the introduction. The bell rings, Romero makes the sign of the cross and comes across the ring fast surprising Palmer with his speed. Romero works a headlock for fifteen minutes then sets Palmer up for his rolling leg lock finish followed with a cannonball drop to the chest. Palmer kicks out and Romero returns to the head lock. From the head lock, Palmer is in position for a German suplex followed with his finishing hold, the spinning toe hold for the win in 25 minutes.
Dr. Death Steve Williams
Norman, Oklahoma University Field house - Paul Jones starts cautiously as Dr. Death is bigger and stronger with solid amateur background in football and wrestling. Dr. Death first advantage with a front chancery and goes for the pin. Jones sets through with a hammer lock and then three quarter nelson in a pinning attempt. From here, Jones is the aggressor with a series of forearm blows and punishing body slams on Dr. Death. Jones covers and Dr. Death kicks out and Jones makes the fatal mistake of grabbing a head lock. Tiger Driver by Dr. Death for the pinfall in 15 minutes.
Mr. Wrestling (Tim Woods)
Sportatorium, Tampa Florida. Eddie Graham and Dory Funk Sr. in attendance. They call it the pit. this is where Matsuda has destroyed many a wrestler's hopes but this time he is wrestling a University of Michigan All American. Matsuda attempts a single leg but Mr. Wrestling blocks and has Matsuda face down on the mat. The first ten minutes belong to Tim Woods and Funk and Graham comment on the great wrestling skills of Mr. Wrestling. At the twelve minute mark Matsuda's superior conditioning begins to show. Woods tries a Grecco hip lock and Matsuda blocks with an abdominal stretch and falls back into a Guillotine hold for the submission in 18 minutes.
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Kerry von Erich
Reunion Arena, Dallas Texas - These two great athletes battle for ten minutes before Severn finally gets a double leg take down but fails to turn Kerry to his back for a pinning situation. Both men fight to the ropes where the referee pushes Severn back and as he comes around, Kerry catches him with a forearm to the chin, stunning Severn. Severn staggers to his feet and Kerry spins like a top and catches him with the Discus Punch. Severn is out and Kerry covers for the pin in 22 minutes.
David von Erich
Omni in Atlanta - Goldberg gets blinded by standing in the middle of the ramp as he gets doused by all the sparklers as the pyrotechnics fire. Von Erich capitalizes be scoring a reverse cradle at the start of the match.
(Hot Stuff) Eddie Gilbert
Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis - Gilbert is winning when he makes the horrible mistake of doing the Sputnik strut and referring to it as the Fargo strut. Monroe goes nuts and shows Gilbert who invented the strut in addition to a few tricks he picked up wrestling Danny Hodge. Sputnik wins in 18 minutes with Oklahoma Cross Body Pin.
Sam Houston Coliseum - Lothario wears the West Texas State jacket he took from Dory Funk Jr. to ringside. Lothario, always with the proverbial punchers chance, scores a solid shot that has Misawa reeling. At that moment, Dory comes to ringside to try and receive the jacket. A distracted Lothario goes to the floor to fight Dory and gets counted out.
The Dome in Atlanta - The bell ring but Nash starts the match by taking the house mike and starting a monologue. Klingman capitalizes with double leg takedown and slaps on the Klingman toe hold for the win.
Iron Mike Dibiase
The Great Arena in the Sky - Great back and forth match. DiBiase has the upper hand with power, but Owen counters with quickness and great technical ability. After 40 minutes, Owen hits the enzugiri for the win. Owen helps Dibasi to his feet and shakes his hand at the finish.
Rob van Dam
ECW Arena in Philly - Santana misses a flying forearm and Van Dam hits the split leg moonsault for the win.
Brian Pillman (Bye)
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