In Funk's Corner

The Devil Made Me Do It

                                Reykjavik Iceland

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Reykjavik, Iceland, on top of the world and the home of the most publicized chess match ever. For more than 30
years since Bobby Fisher defeated Boris Spassky, virtually nothing of importance has taken place in Reykjavik.
Nothing important until now were the thoughts of Terry Funk as he rode in the taxi from the Reykjavik Grand Hotel
to the arena. It seemed as if the snow were different here at the top of the world. It glistens and crunches instead
of turning to slush as it does on the rare occasions that we get snow in the panhandle of Texas.

This was the big match that virtually no one outside the city limits of Reykjavik knew about. This was a match that
any promotion in the world would like to have but because of the politics of wrestling this match had to take place
here in Reykjavik Iceland. By agreement there would be no publicity in the rest of the world and who knows what
goes on here in this frozen bone chilling refrigerator?

As the taxi pulled into the front of the coliseum, Terry could see the marquee. It seemed strange the way he had
left home on American Airlines, changing in Dallas to a flight to New York's Kennedy Airport and then connecting
to Icelandic Air for the final leg into Reykjavik International Airport. The details of this trip were known only to his
family as no one else was to know, not the press, not his friends, not even the, "Smart Marks," that Terry Funk was
coming here for the dream match against the biggest drawing card in the history of wrestling. The marquee read,
"Main Event, Hulk Hogan vs Terry Funk."

Twenty five years ago, Terry had traveled on another strange trip. That time it was to South Africa where he and
Hogan wrestled to a big money crowd in a strange place where only the rich come to visit, Sinatra, Striesand, and
Palmer. Hogan's real manager was his mother. She handled all the financial arrangements and had promised
Terry that night that they would do it again when the opportunity arose in some far off land where wrestling was
exposed only on TV and they were starving for a real live show.

As he entered the arena, out of habit he walked to the entrance of the main hall, to see how the crowd was. It was
an old habit form the days of being paid a percentage of the gate that you draw. There was no need to worry
tonight because he was working on a guarantee and a big one at that, thanks to Hulk's mother. Something was
strange about this crowd. the house was packed, but even though the boys in the ring were working hard, this
crowd was so to say, "deathly quiet." It was sort of eerie, you could have heard a pin drop during the early matches. Sitting at the far side of the announcer's table was a ghostly fellow with ashen white skin and deep set eyes and he wore what looked like a monk's robe with hood. No suntans here in Reykjavik.
The dressing room was full of Reykjavik "wanna be wrestlers." Since Terry and Hogan were the only outsiders,
the entire under card was made up of locals who had watched WCW, WWF (WWE) on television for years. As
Terry glanced around the room, he saw multiple poor imitation combinations of Undertaker, Doink, Gold Dust, and
there were managers of all shapes and sizes. Wrestlers were busy painting their faces, setting up their music, and
practicing their entrances. Terry wondered if any of them had bothered to learn the most important skill of all,
how to wrestle.

It was time, as they say in Japan, "Jikan Desu," Terry was on the way to the ring to the music of, The Eyes of
Texas," Hogan as always would make his entrance last, slightly upsetting to Terry as the last to enter is the star's
position. The music, fireworks, and flashing lights were all there, but the fans remained silent as if they were they
were there to witness an event as opposed to taking part in it. Terry glanced over to the announcer's table trying to get a better look at the odd man in the hooded robe with the ashen skin. It was as if all he could see was a sunken shadowed face under the hood and he was holding what looked a long stick or a staff or --------
Hogan was in the ring and as usual had ripped his shirt from his ultra tanned body and the match was under way.
Terry was being thrown from turnbuckle to turnbuckle and then Hogan had him by the back of the head banging
Terry's head into the corner. Hogan backed off, letting Terry sag to the mat, then backed to the center of the ring
to receive his ovation, but there was no cheer from the fans. Instinctively Hogan put his cupped hand to his ear
on one side, and then of the other, but there was no roar from this crowd.

As Terry rose to his feet it seemed the building was spinning. Hogan charged with a clothesline, Terry was down
and motionless. Hogan moved into position for his finishing hold the leg drop. Into eye with Hulk Hogan for an endless moment.

Terry was up on his feet. Still dizzy he could see Hogan with his back turned starring at the man at the end of
the announcer's table. Terry saw his chance. He leaped on Hogan's back and grabbed the sleeper hold. He
gripped it hard, with all his strength. He could feel Hogan's body sag, Tighter and tighter he held on to the hold.
A trickle of blood came from Hogan's mouth, then blood spurted from his nose and ears. His neck was broken.
Terry released the hold and came to his feet. He thought about the man at the end of the announcer's table, He
looked but there was nobody there, the chair was empty. He looked back at Hogan bleeding and lying in the middle
of the ring. The crowd was silent and the building was spinning.

"My God I've killed Hogan, I've killed Hulk Hogan, Dear Lord I've killed him."

The turbulence became worse as we approached L.A. International on Delta 79, Terry was sleeping in the seat
next to me. Now as the weather got worse, He was waking up. His eyes were half open. "I've done it, I've killed
Hulk Hogan, Junior I killed him."

I looked at Terry and said, "Calm down Terry it's no big deal, Hulk Hogan has nine lives. First he was with Louis
Tillet in Mobile, then Verne Gagne in Minnesota, Vince in New York, Bischoeff in Atlanta and now he is back with
Vince in the main event on Wrestlemania. If you did do him in, he's still got three more lives to go.

The Devil made me do it.

April Fool's

Coming to the Dory Funk Arena Saturday April 26th, Fools Be Damned.
!BANG! Television Taping.
Adam Windsor vs Murder One vs Rainman (Blackout)
UK Kid, Red Power, Dixie, Sledge Hammer, The Claw and much more.
For ticket info call:
E-Mail Dory Funk Jr.
Visit Dory Funk's Home Page
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