!BANG!
 NEWSLETTER
January, 2002          Issue 6        Editor in Chief. Sign Guy  Aka James Malone

     Hello all and Happy Holidays. Welcome to the year end issue of the !BANG! newsletter. As always, any comments and suggestions for this newsletter are welcome at SignGuyJ@excite.com. I can be reached at the same address.

A word from the Editor
     I would like to take this time to wish everyone a joyous holiday season. I have had the best time meeting the wrestlers, doing interviews, and attending the tapings. This very newsletter is a labor of love for me and I have the greatest time putting it all together for you, the readers and fans of The Funking Conservatory. Again I would like to thank my sponsors Dory & Marti Funk and Adam Windsor. I am also proud to announce that starting in January 2002, Royal Stud Productions will be taking over as my publisher.

   !BANG! TV
     !BANG! airs on Mondays and Thursdays at 5 PM on Cox Cable Channel 16. Join your hosts Dory Funk Jr. and Adam Windsor along with Claudia "The Claw" Reiff and other special guests as they bring you 30 minutes of the best wrestling action you have ever seen.

    Sponsors
     The Funking Conservatory would like to thank two new sponsors. One new sponsor is LCT Transportation which is the company Bonecrusher drives the big rigs for. The other new sponsor is Sullivan-Watts Mazda of Ocala. This is the place to go if you want a brand new shiny red Mazda pickup truck. (OOPS!!! Sorry, Shane)

   Trivia Contest
     I would like to congratulate Dennis Cutter of Leesburg, FL for being the winner of the very first trivia contest. He knew that the Funking Conservatory's most successful female graduate was the WWF's one and only Lita. For answering the question correctly, Dennis won the prize of two free passes to this month's !BANG! TV taping. This month's question will be just a bit tougher. The first person to correctly e-mail me the answer to the trivia question will receive two (2) free passes to the January !BANG! TV taping and will get to sit with me, Sign Guy, at ringside right next to the ring entrance. You can e-mail your answers along with your name, address, phone #, and e-mail to me at SignGuyJ@excite.com. Again, the prize will be awarded to the FIRST correct answer I get.
     The trivia question is:
In what year did Dory Funk Jr. compete in the WWF Royal Rumble?

Good luck.

Funking Conservatory Champions
This is an updated and current list of champions in the Funking Conservatory.

Triple Crown Champion (World, Florida, International) - Adam Windsor
United States Champion - Osamu Nishimura
European Champion - Neil Faith
!BANG! TV Champion - Bonecrusher
Women's Champion - The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra
Tag Team Champions - Paul London & Shane Chung
Hardcore Champion - Ox
Queen of Hardcore - The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra

Letters to the Editor
Dear Sign Guy,
     Why is Shane Chung mean to you?
                           Alex from Cleveland, OH
Dear Alex,
     Thanks for writing. Shane is not mean to me, in fact we are good friends. He just likes to rip up my signs on TV at the TV tapings.

Dear Sign Guy,
     I would like to congratulate Bobby "Bonecrusher" Smith on winning the BANG TV Championship. He has surely made his hometown proud. What company did he say he drove the truck for?
                                                                                  Stephanie from Long Haul, TX
Dear Stephanie,
     I appreciate you writing in. Bonecrusher drives his big rig for LCT Transportation out of Okahumpka, FL. An interesting fact, Bonecrusher also competes in trucker fights at truck stops and is currently undefeated in those type of fights.

Dear Sign Guy,
     Will Terry Funk ever appear at a !BANG! show? He is by far my most favorite wrestler in the world.
                                                                                    Jack from San Diego, CA
Dear Jack,
     Thanks for taking the time to write in. I have just been informed that Terry will be coming to the Dory Funk Arena for the !BANG! TV taping on January 19, 2002.

Dear Sign Guy,
    I attended the WWF house show here in Daytona recently. I had the honor and privilege to see Adam Windsor vs. Marcus Dillon in one of the opening matches. I was very disappointed and embarrassed when my hometown crowd started the BORING chants and going to the concession stands during Adam's and Marcus's match. That match to me was the best match on the card. It was better the the Hardyz/Dudleys and Edge/Christian. Will Adam and/or Marcus be doing anymore house shows for the WWF anytime soon? By the way, great job guys!!!
                                                                                   Chrissy from Daytona, FL
Dear Chrissy,
     Thank you for the letter. Adam did house shows the following two days in Lakeland, FL where he beat Ricky Noble, and Fort Myers, FL where he beat Paul London. The WWF has kept in contact with the Funking Conservatory and has plans to feature Conservatory talent when they return to Florida in March. Both Adam and Marcus wanted me to tell you Thank You for the comments and kind words you said about them.

     I also plan to publish letters to the wrestlers. I will make sure they get their letters and get responses. Any questions for myself or any of the stars of the Funking Conservatory may be sent to me at SignGuyJ@excite.com.

Returning Stars
     This month, the December Conservatory is mainly returnees with one new person. Along with our regulars Adam Windsor, Shane Chung, The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra, Smokin Sam, Chief Referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff, and Bonecrusher, returning to this month's camp will be Paul London, Mike Rosario, Ox, Ricky Noble, Heater, Marvelous Mark Edwards (refereeing), and New Japan Pro Wrestling's Osamu Nishimura, who is also the Funking Conservatory United States Champion. A very special welcome to Travis Taylor who is with the Conservatory for the first time.

New Year's Wishes
     This is a special look at what the stars of the Funking Conservatory want as their one special wish for the New Year.

Adam Windsor: A bigger attache' case to carry all my belts in.
Cleopatra: The International Title or a hardcore match with Adam Windsor.
Bonecrusher: Adam Windsor's head on a platter.
Shane Chung: Anything but a Mazda pickup truck.
Osamu Nishimura: I want to see Funk Wrestling School go worldwide.
Thank you very much.
Paul London: Windsor's Triple Crown Championship.
Mike Rosario: Windsor's Triple Crown Championship.
Ricky Noble: Another shot at wrestling for the WWF.
Ox: I want more turkey!!!
Heater: Peace on Earth and good will toward man.
Travis Taylor: I can't wait to do a great interview with that #1 dude, Sign Guy.
Smokin' Sam: Bonecrusher's 18 wheeler packed with cartons of cigarettes.
Claudia "The Claw" Reiff: More women to sign up for the referee program.
Marvelous Mark Edwards: To be the world's only referee who actively wrestles.
Sign Guy: Lita

Exclusive Interview: The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra
     This interview was conducted with The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra, who recently defeated Summer Rain to become the new Funking Conservatory Women's Champion.

Sign Guy: Cleo, it's great to have you back here and congratulations on winning the Funking Conservatory Women's Championship.

Living Dead Girl Cleopatra: Thank you very much and I have to say that I deserved to win my title.

SG: Let's remind everyone about you. You are originally from Pennsylvania?

LDGC: Yes I am but I will be relocating to Ocala, Florida within the next few months.

SG: And besides the Conservatory you wrestle in an organization in Pennsylvania?

LDGC: Yes it's called KAWF and it's located in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

SG: How long have you been with KAWF?

LDGC: I had my first show with them on November 30.

SG: How would you say your story line there compared to the story line you have at the Conservatory?

LDGC: Here, I am the Women's Champion and in KAWF I am managing one of two big guys and once the other guy joins us they will be a tag team. Once I become established I will start feuding with other women there, but for now I am just managing.

SG: Going over my notes, this is your 8th camp?

LDGC: Yes it is.

SG: Now in the first 7 camps, I remember that you wanted to achieve certain goals. One goal I know was to win the Women's title which you did. Last month you issued a challenge to any man in the locker room to an evening gown/tuxedo match. While watching !BANG!, I saw you look into the camera and say you hoped that it would be Adam Windsor who accepted the challenge.

LDGC: That is correct. Adam Windsor has stuck his nose in my business so many times. It's just about time that he comes out of hiding and face me one on one.

SG: Say maybe in a regular match or a hardcore match?

LDGC: Why not? At least we would be face to face and not him coming up behind me.

SG: Do you think he'll accept your challenge?

LDGC: I don't think so. I really would like him to, but I don't think he will.

SG: If there was somebody to accept your challenge, who do you think it would be if not Adam?

LDGC: All I can say is that I hope it's someone man enough to get in the ring with me.

SG: Getting back to the Women's title, last month you had your first title defense against  Boadacia Bondage. That was a tough match and you were successful even after you received a beating with a leather strap at the end, but you got back at her. How was wrestling Boadacia Bondage compared to wrestling Summer Rain?

LDGC: Miss Bondage was an excellent opponent for that being her first pro match. I enjoyed working with her and I hope she comes back. I would love to work with her again. She is an excellent worker.

SG: So you would defend the belt against her again?

LDGC: Yes I would and when Summer Rain returns I will grant her the rematch that she is entitled too.

SG: How are you handling all the success that has come your way?

LDGC: It's wonderful. I feel great about it.

SG: The best part about being the champion and competing in the ring is that you're doing it for the fans. Your fan following is growing in leaps and bounds. The crowd loves you and that's who you do it for. Your thoughts?

LDGC: Yes, it's all for the fans. I do it for my fans and I won the title not for myself but for my fans.

SG: What do you hope to accomplish in 2002?

LDGC: I would love to go after another title to add to my collection.

SG: Would that by chance be the International title?

LDGC: Could be International or maybe the tag titles if I find the right partner. There's also the Hardcore title. It doesn't matter.

SG: Any title sounds good, but I know you would love to have the International belt.

LDGC: Oh yes I would.

SG: And you know who you have to face to get it?

LDGC: Yes I do and I think I have proven myself to Adam Windsor to have a chance at the title. If I beat him and win the International title, the win will be for my fans.

SG: What would you say is you most favorite memory of being in the Funking Conservatory?

LDGC: My favorite memory is just my walking out to the ring each time listening to the audience clap and cheer for me. It's wonderful to hear and helps get me going.

SG: What would you say would be your most memorable match?

LDGC: That would be my very first match at my first camp back in May. I was in an intergender tag team match with Matt Wynn as my partner facing Tiger Mulligan and Wild Bill Logston.

SG: I remember that match. That was a great match with the highlight being when you caught Tiger with an 8 rotation Mexican headscissors.

LDGC: That was so much fun.

SG: Even with that being your first camp, you had that crowd on their feet going crazy over you even then.

LDGC: I do remember. I guess that was a hint of things to come.

SG: On that note we'll wrap this up. Again, Cleo, thank you very much for your time and again congratulations on the title win. I wish you the best with a long title reign and good luck in hopefully wrestling that challenge. Good luck to you in your career.

LDGC: Thank you very much.

Fantasy Match
ADAM WINDSOR
with
Sign Guy in his corner
 vs
MATT HARDY
with
Lita in his corner
      This month's fantasy match took place at a WWF house show. The match featured the Funking Conservatory Triple Crown Champion Adam Windsor against Matt Hardy of Team Xtreme. This was a special night for Adam because he was accompanied by his best friend Sign Guy. Matt was accompanied by his girlfriend Lita. Before the match even began, Sign Guy walked over to say hello to Lita, but Matt jumped in his way and shoved him down to the ground. This caused Adam to retaliate by punching Matt in the head and throwing him into the ring. The match finally began with both men locking up, and then Adam went for an early pin with a roll up, but only got a one count. Matt and Adam locked up again. This time, Matt managed to take Adam down with a legsweep. After another lockup, Adam gained the advantage on Matt with an armbar. Adam then tried for another pin attempt, but only got a one count. Matt made a reverse and took Adam down. As Matt went to pick Adam up, Adam tried another rollup, this time getting a two count. As Adam and Matt measured each other for another lockup, Sign Guy made another attempt to speak to Lita. This time he did and Lita was glad to see him. Back in the ring, Adam tried an ankle lock on Matt, but Matt managed to get to the ropes. Adam then whipped Matt into the ropes and caught him with a clothesline and a double arm suplex. Adam followed up with a couple of chops on Matt and then whipped him into the opposite corner and delivered the running clothesline. Adam then picked up Matt and delivered the "Royal Edge". Adam went for the pin, but only managed a two count. Adam whipped Matt into the ropes again, but this time was caught by Matt's spinning side kick. Matt saw Sign Guy chatting with Lita and chased him away, which made Lita upset. Adam and Matt started a criss cross off the ropes and at the same time, Sign Guy grabbed Matt's leg while Lita grabbed Adam's leg. Neither man went down. The next thing, Matt kicked Sign Guy down to the floor while Adam kicked Lita down to the floor. Sign Guy and Lita decided they had just about enough of being kicked around, so they decided to leave the arena together. Matt saw what was going on and yelled for Lita to come back. When Matt turned back around, he was met with a face full of Adam's boot from the superkick. Adam made the cover for the three count and was awarded the victory.

Conservatory Alumni Update
     A special congratulations to the Funking Conservatory's own Chad "Big Bank" Barfield on recent success in the GWF (Georgia Wrestling Federation). Chad has won two matches back to back and is currently ranked as the #6 contender for the GWF Cruiserweight Championship.
     Special congratulations also goes out to the Funking Conservatory's own Buck Wylde who recently won a six man match with his partners Vince Goodnite and Stryker in the ECWA (East Coast Wrestling Association) based in Delaware. Buck has also become a top 15 ranked contender for the ECWA Championship.
     Of course we can't forget a big congratulations to the Royal Stud Adam Windsor, Marcus Dillon, Ricky Noble, and Paul London for having the opportunity to wrestle opening matches for WWF house shows in Daytona, Lakeland, and Ft. Myers.
     The Funking Conservatory is very proud of these young men. Keep up the great work, guys!!!

Gossip (or questions to ponder)
Who will accept Cleopatra's challenge to an evening gown/tuxedo match?

After the commercial, would Shane Chung buy a Mazda pickup truck?

Will Adam Windsor be offered a deal by the WWF?

Could you just see Bonecrusher babysitting a baby?

Osamu Nishimura is back and better than ever.

What does Smokin' Sam have in store for Adam Windsor?

Travis Taylor looks like he's ready to rumble.

Will Claudia aka The Claw have to referee all the matches again?

Is Marvelous Mark Edwards disappointed in his Indianapolis Colts?

How noble is Ricky Noble?

Will Ox be looking for more turkey?

Speaking of poultry, why does Heater have a craving for chicken wings?

Mike Rosario is looking to become Triple Crown Champion.

Paul London is like that Energizer bunny. He keeps going and going and going ....

Dory and Marti Funk are the best.

Happy