!BANG!
 NEWSLETTER
July, 2002              Issue 13
James Malone (Sign Guy) Editor In Chief
 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!
     Hello all and welcome to the One Year Anniversary issue of the !BANG! Newsletter. On July 27 at the Dory Funk Arena, the !BANG! TV tapings will once again be taking place. The show is titled "Patriotic Chaos" and this promises to be another history making night. The main event will be the FC Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor defending his FC World Heavyweight Championship in a rematch against the #1 contender, FC United States Champion Osamu Nishimura of New Japan Pro Wrestling. The last time these two stars met, they went to a 30 minute draw. This time they will meet in a 60 minute Sudden Death match. As always, any comments and suggestions for this newsletter are welcome at SignGuyJ@excite.com. I can be reached at the same address.

A word from the Editor
     As stated before, this issue marks the newsletter's One Year Anniversary. This has been a wonderful job and I am so happy with the success that has been achieved. I would like to thank all the readers for helping make this possible. I also want to thank my publisher Royal Stud Productions, Adam Windsor, Dory & Marti Funk, Claudia Reiff, and most of all every single wrestler, manager, referee, promoter, valet, and special guest that has come through the Conservatory over the last twelve months.

   !BANG! TV
     !BANG! airs on Thursdays at 5 PM on Cox Cable Channel 8 in Gainesville and Channel 16 in Ocala. Join your hosts Dory Funk Jr. and the Royal Stud Adam Windsor along with Heater and other special guests as they bring you 30 minutes of the best wrestling action you have ever seen.

    Too Your Health Spa
     The Funking Conservatory would like to thank the sponsor of the !BANG! TV show. Too Your Health Spa is where the stars of the Funking Conservatory train and work out.

Country Inn & Suites
   Funking Conservatory students, stars, and guests stay at the beautiful new Country Inn & Suites on State Road 200 in Ocala, FL.

Funking Conservatory Champions
This is an updated and current list of champions in the Funking Conservatory.

Triple Crown Champion (World, Florida, International) - Adam Windsor
United States Champion - Osamu Nishimura
European Champion - Neil Faith
!BANG! TV Champion - Domino
Self Proclaimed "WHOA MAN'S" Champion - Heater
Tag Team Champions - "Dreamachine" Chris Cage & Sterling James Keenan
Hardcore Champion - Paul London

Letters to the Editor
Dear Sign Guy,
     Could you please give me some background information on that cute hottie from the last !BANG! show named TNT Travis Taylor? He is so adorable.                                                                 Toni from Gainesville, FL
Dear Toni,
     Thanks for writing. Travis is 26 years old and came over 1,000 miles from Tulsa, Oklahoma. He made his Conservatory debut in December 2001 and made his return in June for his second camp. His TV debut was this past July 11 in which his match with Adam Windsor was broadcast. Travis is currently single and has written a 5 page article about his experiences with the Conservatory for the upcoming Rampage magazine.

Dear Sign Guy,
     I recently visited family in Ocala, FL, and they brought me to a !BANG! taping. The action was some of the best I've ever seen. I saw a very beautiful lady operating one of the TV cameras. Could you tell me who that is?
                                                                                  Kevin from Napa Valley, CA
Dear Kevin,
     I appreciate you writing in. The lovely lady you saw was the one and only Marti Funk. She is the wife of Dory Funk, Jr. and is the head videographer and executive producer of the !BANG! TV show.

Dear Sign Guy,
     How long has Adam Windsor held his titles?
                                                                                            Laura from Dallas, TX
Dear Laura,
     Thanks for taking the time to write in. Adam has been FC Florida Champion since August 15 2000, FC World Heavyweight Champion since November 14 2000, and FC International Champion since September 29 2001.
 
 
 
 

Dear Sign Guy,
     What is the deal with this Hulk Hogan ripoff named Heater? He's walking around wearing feather boas and Cleopatra's title belt. Why is that?
              &>


Transfer interrupted!

bsp;                                          Collin from Winnepeg, Manitoba, Canada
Dear Collin,
     Thank you for the letter. Heater, who leads his own cause called "Heatermania", told me recently that he was in an airport and saw Cleo getting ready to board a plane for Germany when she had to run to the desk to finalize her flight plans. Heater then mentioned that she had left the bag with her belt unattended, so he took it upon himself to take the belt and "guard" it for her. He has now given the belt a different name calling it the "WHOA MAN'S" Championship and has proclaimed himself the champion.

Editor's Note: An interview with Heater is coming up in this issue.

     Any questions for myself or any of the stars of the Funking Conservatory may be sent to me at SignGuyJ@excite.com.
 

Returning Stars
     Along with our regulars Adam Windsor, Chief Referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff, Heater, and ring announcer Chris English, returning to this month's camp will be former FC Hardcore Champion Ox, FC United States Champion Osamu Nishimura from New Japan Pro Wrestling and the First Lady Of Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt.

New Stars
     The Funking Conservatory is proud to welcome its newcomers making their first trip to Ocala for !BANG!. They are Eric The Great, Cory "The Sledgehammer" Connors, Anaconda, Julia Ricardo, The Untouchable Scotty Z & Tiziana, Vik Dalishus, and Matt Xstein. Welcome to all of you.

Conservatory Stars Attend WWE Show
     On July 12, Funking Conservatory members along with Coach Dory Funk, Jr. and Marti Funk attended the WWE house show in Lakeland, FL. The trip was fun and exciting and members of both the regular and teen camps were able to meet some of the WWE stars. Marti got to say HI to Goldust, The Claw chatted with her long time friend Ric Flair, yours truly Sign Guy caught a two second glimpse of the lovely Lita AKA Mrs. Sign Guy, and after the show the entire group was introduced to Rob Van Dam. The fun continued on the way back to Ocala when the bus stopped at a closed fast food restaurant and some members tried to walk through the drive-thru. Attending the show with the Funks, The Claw, and myself were Adam Winsdor, Heater, Ox, Eric Morris, The Main Avant, and Theopolis Cummings from the regular camp. Attending from the teen camp were Alexia Blueridge, Chavela Rosado aka Stytch, and Matt Sills & William Heath, who wrestle under the names of Irving & Francis Dupschwalla.

 Interview: Heater
     In this interview with Heater, we discussed his background, inspirations, and plans for his future in the business.

Sign Guy: Heater, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do this interview. I know you and I don't really see eye to eye, but I will conduct myself as a professional as I hope you do the same.

Heater: Thank you, Sign Guy. I know it's your pleasure.

SG: Right. I'll start by asking how old you are?

Heater: I am 20 years old.

SG: Where are you from?

Heater: I was born in Belfast, Ireland, but I've lived in Florida almost all my life. My family traveled with a circus up until I was about 7. We settled in Eustis, FL, and I've been there ever since.

SG: How long have you been involved in the wrestling business?

Heater: As a fan I have loved wrestling all of my life. As an actual ring performer, I've been involved in the sport about one year, which has been the best year of my life.

SG: Did you have any professional training before you started training with Dory?

Heater: None whatsoever.

SG: How would you say you got your start?

Heater: A close friend of mine came to this school. He told me what it was like to be here and to be trained by a living legend like Dory Funk, Jr., and it was like a moth to a flame. Once I started I couldn't stay away.

SG: What kinds of things to you like to do away from the wrestling business?

Heater: I am an avid artist both on paper and computer, I love to act, I go to school, I study wrestling tapes, and you could say I'm a family man because I like to stay close to my family. As much as I love wrestling, my mother, father, and sister will always come first in my life.

SG: Now I must ask this. What is the deal with you running around wearing the FC Women's Championship belt.

Heater: It's not the Women's Championship, it's the "WHOA MAN'S" Championship and I have the honor of being the first champion.

SG: Oh, please. You stole that belt from The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra and all the fans know it too. Why did you do it?

Heater: I did not steal this belt. I just happened to notice the luggage of that Living Dead Something Nefertiti in an airport. There was a tear in one of the bags and I saw some gold. Far be it from me to let something as valuable as gold fall out of her bag between here and Germany. I took it upon myself to take care of the belt and adopt it as my own. Since I can't be the Women's Champion, I can be the "WHOA MAN'S" Champion.

SG: Out of all the wrestlers in the world, who would you say would be your one dream opponent? Goldust?

Heater: Very funny, ha ha. I would have to say the one wrestler I would love to have a match with would be Rhyno. He may be bigger than me, but for someone of his size he is so quick and can move around the ring like a cat.

SG: Any final thoughts?

Heater: I would like to say to all my Heatermaniacs all over the world, "Stay tuned, guys and girls, because the best is yet to come.".

SG: Well, Heater, thank you again for your time and good luck to you in your career.

Heater: Thank you and again I know it's been your pleasure..

Dream Match
BRENT CAMERON DAIL
vs.
CHRIS JERICHO
     This month's dream match kicked off with Jericho pushing Brent into the corner after the lockup. Jericho made a clean break. The two men locked up again, this time Brent gained control with a headlock on Jericho. Jericho shoved Brent into the ropes but was knocked down by a shoulder tackle from Brent. Brent then ducked a clothesline attempt by Jericho and caught him with a flying elbow. After another lockup, Jericho took Brent down to the mat with an armdrag. Brent was quick to get back to his feet but was taken down again by an armdrag from Jericho. Jericho placed Brent in the corner and caught him with a series of right jabs followed up by a roundhouse right. Jericho whipped Brent into the opposite corner and followed up with a hiptoss as Brent came out of the corner. Jericho kept the momentum going with two more right jabs and another roundhouse right. Jericho then picked Brent up and went for a whip to the corner, but Brent reversed the whip and followed up with a running clothesline on Jericho. Brent continued the assault on Jericho with two huge chops and a suplex. Brent set Jericho on the ropes and gave him another chop and followed up with a bodyslam. Brent gave the sign that he was going to the top rope. As Brent made his way up, Lance Storm ran out and grabbed Brent's foot causing him to strattle the top turnbuckle. Jericho seized the moment and knocked Brent to the floor where Storm and his fellow Canadians, Christian and Test, triple teamed Brent and threw him back in the ring. Jericho went for a cover, but somehow Brent kicked out at two. Jericho threw Brent out of the ring again where Storm, Christian, and Test once again triple teamed on Brent. All that stopped when Rikishi came to the rescue and helped Brent take care of the Canadians. As Brent sent Rikishi to the other side of the ring, Jericho thought he could shove referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff around, but he soon learned that the saying "The Claw Is The Law" was the truth when she shoved him back. Jericho looked to the outside where Rikishi gave him a shot to the head when the Claw wasn't looking. As Jericho spun around, Brent nailed him with a clothesline and turned him over to apply the Boston crab. Jericho quickly tapped out and Brent Cameron Dail was awarded the victory. The celebration did not last long when Brent and Rikishi were both attacked from behind by Storm, Christian, and Test. All of a sudden, WWE ring announcer Lillian Garcia came from behind the curtain and started to sing The Star Spangled Banner. The Canadians started to scream in agony and covered their ears so they couldn't hear the song. They rushed out of the ring and back to the dressing room. Brent thanked Lillian by joining her in a duet of America The Beautiful.

Conservatory Alumni Update
     A special shout out to my good friend Buck Wylde as he competed for ECWA (East Coast Wrestling Association) on July 20 in a six man tag team match with his tag team partner Striker and their friend Xero.
     A big congratulations to Chad "Big Bank" Barfield for recently being the featured wrestler on the GPW (Galaxie Pro Wrestling) website's "Wrestler Spotlight". Big Bank is also in contention for some GPW titles. He is ranked #6 for the GPW Cruiserweight Championship and ranked #10 for the GPW U.S. Heritage Championship. Big Bank has also formed an alliance with "Mr. Finesse" Dave Holiday and "Platinum Playboy" Preston Paradise. They are known as BigBank Inc. and are currently the #1 contenders for the GPW Tag Team Championship. Good luck, Chad.
     A special good luck and good bye to our friend and former FC Hardcore Champion Marvelous Mark Edwards. Mark and his wife Buffi are moving to Indiana in mid August to open up their very own restaurant. Mark says to say Thank You to his fans and supporters for their kindness. Mark, we love you and will miss you very much.

Gossip (or questions to ponder)
Did Cleopatra noticed that her belt was missing when she arrived in Germany?

Did Hyjynx get to compete in Germany?

Adam Windsor said that his friend Sign Guy has a spare tire.
Between those two, at least Sign Guy's spare tire wasn't flat.

Osamu Nishimura is determined to beat Adam Windsor at Patriotic Chaos.

What did The Claw share with Ric Flair in Lakeland?.

Chris English is a riot. He is so funny.

Heater should be careful. He was shedding feathers at the last show.

Who is Missy Hyatt going to manage this time?

Why is Eric The Great so great?

Matt Xstein likes to kick tuchis (pronounced too-kis).

Has Anaconda ever seen a real anaconda?

How untouchable are Untouchable Scotty Z & Tiziana?

Why was Vik Dalishus being sprayed with Febreeze by The Claw?

Why did Julia Ricardo make threats towards Lita?

Cory "The Sledgehammer" Connors is here and ready to make a name for himself.

Dory loves coffee and Marti likes to walk through fast food drive-thru's

Thanks for reading.
Be sure to check out
next month's issue