!BANG!
 NEWSLETTER
June, 2002                    Issue 12                    Sign Guy,  Editor in Chief
Royal Stud Productions, Publisher

     Hello all and welcome to the latest issue of the !BANG! Newsletter. On June 15 at the Dory Funk Arena, the !BANG! TV tapings will once again be taking place. The show is titled "Sinful Deceptions" and this promises to be another history making night. The main event will be the FC Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor defending his titles against the #1 contender, FC United States Champion Osamu Nishimura of New Japan Pro Wrestling. As always, any comments and suggestions for this newsletter are welcome at SignGuyJ@excite.com. I can be reached at the same address.

A word from the Editor
     Recently, on "Between the Ropes" Ed Ferarra criticized Dory Funk Jr. and Harley Race and hoped they would not wrestle when they appear on the inaugural NWA-TNA PPV on June 19. He said, “I don’t want to see Dory and Harley go out there and work a legends match,” he said. “Put me to sleep." I want to see A.J. Styles. I want to see Low Ki. I want to see these young guys that are going to -- 100 years when they’re still around like Dory and Harley are - people are going to say, ‘Jeez, A.J., Low Ki, give it a break. Let Arn Anderson XII come in because he’s this new hot kid on the block.’”
     In response, How is Ed Ferarra qualified to criticize the work two NWA Champions who are going to be in Huntsville, Alabama to give of their reputations in support of NWA Total Nonstop Action. This is the dude who was the Good Ol' JR ripoff character in WCW called Oklahoma. Not only did he have the world's most irritating voice, he loved chugging BBQ sauce and had a brief reign as WCW Women's Champion. This jerk had no business talking about my friend Dory Funk, Jr the way he did. When Dory see's Ed Ferarra at the NWA/TNA Pay Per View on June 19 in Huntsville, Alabama, he will stick his foot so far up his fat behind that he will have to hop around on one leg. We will see if that will put him to sleep. The show will be on Cox Cable In Demand PPV.

   !BANG! TV
     !BANG! airs on Mondays and Thursdays at 5 PM on Cox Cable Channel 8 in Gainesville and Channel 16 in Ocala. Join your hosts Dory Funk Jr. and Andy DePalma along with the Royal Stud Adam Windsor, Heater, and other special guests as they bring you 30 minutes of the best wrestling action you have ever seen.

    Sponsors
     The Funking Conservatory would like to thank it's sponsors. One is Sullivan-Watts Mazda, which is where to go if you want a brand new or good used vehicle. The other is Too Your Health Spa, where the stars of the Funking Conservatory train and work out.

Funking Conservatory Champions
This is an updated and current list of champions in the Funking Conservatory.

Triple Crown Champion (World, Florida, International) - Adam Windsor
United States Champion - Osamu Nishimura
European Champion - Neil Faith
!BANG! TV Champion - Bonecrusher
Women's Champion - The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra
Tag Team Champions - Adam Windsor & Paul London
Hardcore Champion - Paul London
Queen of Hardcore - Hyjynx

Letters to the Editor
Dear Sign Guy,
     I would like to know how Heater gets himself into the predicaments he does. He beats up female wrestlers and wears dresses. What gives?                                                                                  Cliff from Richmond, VA
Dear Cliff,
     Thanks for writing. Heater ended up in a dress from not reading a contract he signed for an evening gown/tuxedo match with Cleopatra. It stated that Cleo would wear the tuxedo and he would wear the dress. As for the female wrestlers, they knock him out and throw the dress on him.

Dear Sign Guy,
     I am absolutely in awe at the high flier Paul London. Some of the moves he does are so incredible, especially his shooting star press. Could you tell me more about him?
                                                                                             Diane from Boston, MA
Dear Diane,
     I appreciate you writing in. Paul is in his early 20's and lives in Texas. He is a former FC United States Champion, current FC Hardcore Champion, and recently won the Tag Team Championship with Adam Windsor. Last November, Paul wrestled against Adam Windsor in an opening match for a WWE house show.

Dear Sign Guy,
     What kind of plans does Missy Hyatt have for the next !BANG! show?
                                                                                      Sam from Washington, D.C.
Dear Sam,
     Thanks for taking the time to write in. I'm not exactly sure as to what she has in store, but Missy has hinted that something big will go down.

Dear Sign Guy,
     Osamu Nishimura is a golden tanned adonis. I enjoyed watching him wrestle and hope to see him again. He is a very gifted athlete and he could show the other wrestlers a thing or two. Where does he get it from? By the way, hope you had a great birthday.
                                                                                                Carol from Ocala, FL
Dear MOM,
     Thank you for the letter. Nishimura works with both New Japan Pro Wrestling and a company called MUGA which he and Tatsumi Fujinami started. In addition to being FC United States Champion, Nishimura has held titles all over Japan. By the way, Mom, Marti said it's the dimples.

     Any questions for myself or any of the stars of the Funking Conservatory may be sent to me at SignGuyJ@excite.com.

BREAKING NEWS: FC Tag Titles Come Home
     FC Triple Crown Champion Adam Windsor and FC Hardcore Champion Paul London traveled to Atlanta, GA, on May 18 to invade NWA Wildside to challenge Blackout, Rainman and Homicide, for the FC Tag Team Championship to bring back to the Funking Conservatory. Blackout had won the titles at the May 11 !BANG! TV taping with help from Missy Hyatt. Adam and Paul went in and defeated Blackout for the belts and Dory got revenge on Blackout's manager Jeff G. Bailey by taking him down and slapping on the spinning toe hold. Congratulations to Adam and Paul for a job well done. Great job guys.

Returning Stars
     Along with our regulars Adam Windsor, Chief Referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff, and ring announcer Chris English, returning to this month's camp will be Paul London, Heater, TNT Travis Taylor, and Meanace II Society. Also returning are FC United States Champion Osamu Nishimura from New Japan Pro Wrestling and the First Lady Of Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt.

New Stars
     The Funking Conservatory is proud to welcome its newcomers making their first trip to Ocala for !BANG!. They are Domino, Sterling James Keenan, and Chris Cage "The Dream Machine". Welcome to all of you.

"British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith passes away
     The wrestling world lost another great on May 19 when it was reported that Davey Boy Smith, the "British Bulldog", had died. He was 39 years old.
     Davey was trained by the legendary Stu Hart in Calgary, Alberta Canada and had achieved much success. He was one half of the legendary British Bulldogs with Dynamite Kid and held the WWF (now WWE) Tag Team Championship with both Dynamite and his brother in law, the late Owen Hart. Davey's greatest moment came at WWF (now WWE) Summerslam in 1992 when he defeated his other brother in law, Bret "Hitman" Hart, for the Intercontinental Championship in England's Wembley Stadium in front of almost 90,000 people. Davey's last match was nine days prior to his death when he wrestled in a tag team match with his 16 year old son, Harry, as his partner. The Smiths were victorious.
     All of us at the Funking Conservatory send our condolances to Diana Hart Smith, Davey's children Harry & Georgia, and to the Hart & Smith families.

Wrestling Chatterbox
     The !BANG! Newsletter is pleased to mention Wrestling Chatterbox as part of the Funking Conservatory family. The Chatterbox is written and published by Georgiann Makropoulos who also writes for 1wrestling.com. For more information on subscribing to Wrestling Chatterbox, you can contact Georgiann at GMakpoulos@aol.com. Tell her you saw it in the !BANG! Newsletter.

 Exclusive Interview: Missy Hyatt
     This exclusive interview was conducted with the First Lady Of Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt prior to the Xtreme Heat TV taping. Missy and I discussed her career, Paul London, wrestlers she has managed, and her plans for 2002.

Sign Guy: Missy, thank you so very much for taking the time to do this interview. It is an absolute honor and privilege to meet you.

Missy Hyatt: Thank you, Sign Guy. It's very nice to meet you too. Dory & Marti have said many nice things about you.

SG: Why thank you. I'll start by asking how you got your start in the wrestling business?

MH: I got my start in 1985 with World Class Championship Wrestling in Texas. That was the company the Von Erichs worked for. I started off as a valet for Hollywood John Tatum.

SG: What inspired you to pursue a career in wrestling?

MH: I really started hanging around wrestling in the early 1980's in Florida because I'm from Tallahassee. I would attend the matches and that's how I met Dory & Marti Funk. I would hang out with Marti sometimes, but that was way before I was in the business. Later on I met John Tatum. He was from Pensacola and we started dating. John worked in the NWA for Jim Crockett Promotions before he moved out to Texas. When he moved out there he asked me to go with him. It was David Manning and Rick Hazzard in World Class who asked me if I wanted to give being a valet a try, so I said okay and loved doing it.

SG: Other than John Tatum, you have managed several wrestlers over the years. Who are some of the greats you have managed?
 

MH: I have managed Sting, The Steiner Brothers, Jack Victory, The Nasty Boys, Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert, Sandman, and the list goes on. Right now I'm with Paul London, but that Adam Windsor has a cute butt.

SG: You mentioned Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert. If I remember right, you were married to him for a time?

MH: Yes that is true, and Eddie had a cute butt too. He was very smart when it came to booking, ideas, and producing TV. He was a genius at planning wrestling shows and he was taken from us way before his time. Just before ECW came about, it was Eddie and Terry Funk who started barb wire matches and crazy hardcore matches before hardcore was popular.

SG: Have you worked in promotions outside the U.S.A.?

MH: I've been to Canada, Puerto Rico, Isreal, and Amsterdam.

SG: What kinds of things to you like to do away from the wrestling business?

MH: I just finished my book "Missy Hyatt, First Lady Of Wrestling" (in stores now) and I've been doing TV and radio talk shows for that, and I also have my website.  We have new photo and video shoots coming up and that takes up much of my time because I like to be involved in the behind the scenes production for both the videos and the photo sessions.

SG: You have come to the Funking Conservatory and teamed up with Paul London. Give the readers your take on Paul and the rest of the talent within the Conservatory itself.

MH: Paul is an incredibly gifted wrestler. He has so much potential and he and I work very well as a team. We work off each other well and we really like each other. As for the rest of the guys that I saw, everyone is extremely talented. When I was here the first time, I saw the tag team The Lost Boyz and I have to say I was so impressed by them. It's great that there is a place like the Funking Conservatory where people can come and learn, and learn the right way. There are lots of schools around, but they don't do it the right way. Dory also does it the safe way.

SG: How about your take on Adam Windsor?

MH: Like I said before, he has a really nice butt. But seriously he's a very handsome guy and I'll go on the record as saying that I may be the First Lady Of Wrestling, the first woman to hold a men's title doing that before Chyna did, but one thing that I have not been is British royalty. Since Adam Windsor IS British royalty, if he marries me I could become a lady. Not that I haven't been a lady before, but if Madonna can marry a British gentleman and become a proper British lady, then so can I.

SG: Out of all the wrestlers that you have managed over the years, who would you say has been the one wrestler that you have enjoyed managing the most?

MH: I would have to say hands down Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert, but I also had a great time with the Steiner Brothers.

SG: One final question. What does Missy Hyatt have in store for 2002 and beyond?

MH: I want to take over !BANG! and then one day rule the world.

SG: Missy, again thank you very much for the interview. I personally have had a blast and we hope to have you in the Conservatory for many more months to come.

MH: Thank you and I hope to be here as long as they'll have me.

Dream Match
HEATER
vs.
GOLDUST
Evening Gown Match
     This month's dream match was a special challenge evening gown match. The FC's own Heater came to the ring wearing his favorite red dress from the Jaclyn Smith collection at K-Mart with the fire colored wig and accompamied by Missy Hyatt. The person who made the challenge, WWE star Goldust, made his way to the ring wearing a stunning black beaded gown designed by Donatella Versace and was accompanied by Booker T. The match started off with Goldust jumping Heater from behind, but Heater easily countered the sneak attack by throwing Goldust outside the ring. Once Goldust came back into the ring, the match was officially under way. Heater took down Goldust with a headlock takedown. Goldust whipped Heater into the ropes but Heater countered with a shoulder tackle. Heater then backed Goldust into the corner and gave him two huge chops. Goldust countered by chopping Heater twice and then repeatedly using the closed fists. Heater threw Goldust into the corner and caught him with an elbow smash. Heater whipped Goldust into the opposite corner and gave him another elbow smash. Heater then caught Goldust with a suplex and followed up with a legdrop. Heater went for a cover, but Goldust kicked out at two. As Heater was getting up, Goldust used an eyerake on him. Goldust then threw Heater into the corner and gave him a running clothesline. Goldust then used repeated elbow smashes to the head of Heater. Once Heater was down, Goldust used a kneedrop once again on Heater's head. Goldust went for a cover, but Heater powered out at two. When Goldust leaned down to apply more pressure, Heater rolled him up in a small package but could only get a two count. Goldust whipped Heater into the ropes and caught him with a DDT. Goldust then set Heater on the ropes and shouted something to Booker T. Booker then proceeded to give Heater a huge smack to the face. When Heater turned around, he was the recipient of a clothesline from Goldust. Goldust picked up Heater and attempted to inflict more punishment, but Heater started to comeback by whipping Goldust into the ropes and giving him a huge clothesline. With that, Heater was finally able to get his offense going. Heater started off with a neckbreaker on Goldust. Heater went for a cover, but Goldust kicked out at two. Goldust countered with a shot to Heater's knee. Homicide whipped Heater into the ropes and attempted a backdrop, but Heater countered with a sunset flip into a pinning combination which Goldust kicked out at two. Heater followed up with a clothesline and a suplex. Heater whipped Goldust  into the ropes and gave him another clothesline followed up by an elbow drop. He>


Transfer interrupted!

ust kicked out at two again. Heater gave Goldust a bodyslam and prepared to use his patented Heat Shock. Heater went for the Heat Shock but Goldust ducked and caught Heater with a closed fist to the head sending him into the corner where he accidentally pancaked the referee The Claw. Goldust gave Heater another shot to the head sending him back into the corner and again squashing The Claw. Heater came out of the corner and was clotheslined once again by Goldust. Goldust picked Heater up and gave him a bodyslam. Goldust went to the top turnbuckle and went for the moonsault but Heater moved out of the way. Heater then gave Goldust a clothesline. Heater went to bounce off the ropes, but Booker T.  grabbed his leg and tripped him up. Missy ran over to the corner to see what Booker's  deal was. As Goldust was standing by the ropes staring evilly at Missy, Heater caught him with a schoolboy rollup and pulled on Goldust's evening gown. As The Claw started the count, Booker tried to get in the ring to stop the count, but Missy grabbed his leg and held on for dear life as The Claw counted to three and awarded the match to Heater. Once the match was over, Heater tore the evening gown off of Goldust, who was wearing a red laced teddy underneath his gown.

 Conservatory Alumni Update
     A special shout out to my good friend Brent Cameron Dail, who has been wrestling in Puerto Rico for Carlos Colon in WWC (World Wrestling Council). Brent has been achieving success across the border and has big plans for his future.
     A big congratulations to Summer Rain and Brandon Groom as they will be tying the knot on June 18. Summer was the very first FC Women's Champion and Brandon is the man Osamu Nishimura defeated to become FC United States Champion.
     A special mention goes out to Marcus "The Reason" Dillon, "Sensation" Matt Mason, current FC Women's Champion The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra, and referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff for working the opening match at the NWA Wildside TV taping on May 18 in Atlanta, GA.
     Another mention to Cleopatra and FC European Champion Neil Faith as they are in Germany competing with FC graduate Chris The Bambi Killer.
     A very special congratulations to The Royal Stud Adam Windsor for being voted the #3 best independent wrestler in the entire world by writers for Rampage magazine. Adam, we are all so proud of you.

Gossip (or questions to ponder)
Will ANYONE issue a challenge to Cleopatra for the Women's Championship?

Hyjynx wants the Hardcore Championship back.

Adam Windsor would never hurt Sign Guy. Would he?

Has Osamu Nishimura been hanging out with George Hamilton?

The Claw will always be THE LAW.

What kinds of funny voices will ring announcer Chris English use this time?

Will Paul London and Adam Windsor be able to get along?.

Is Heater planning on kissing Missy Hyatt again?

TNT Travis Taylor is back and looking great!!

Sterling James Keenan should watch what he says to The Claw.

Domino is here from England and ready to make a name for himself.

Missy Hyatt is back. What plans will she have this time?

Chris Cage is "The Dream Machine". What is he dreaming about?

Why is Meanace II Society a meanace?

Dory and Marti Funk are like Mom & Dad to everyone in the Conservatory.

Thanks for reading.
Be sure to check out next month's issue which will mark the newsletter's
One Year Anniversary.