Producer &Photo Editor - Marti Funk
E-Mail: fuanku@praxis.net or
FAX: (352) 895-4658
Mirror mirror on the wall in wrestling, who is the richest of all?
Ed Strangler Lewis, the master of (Would you believe this) the head
lock???
Ed lewis crossed the country by train, winning most of his matches with
his powerful and devastating head lock. Lewis commanded upward of 50
percent
of the gate and at that time, had to pay no taxes. Lewis was
"kanemochi,"
however, like many great athletes of yore, in the end he had nothing.
The Father of all bleached blond wrestlers, Gorgeous George aka George
Wagner
rubbed shoulders with the elite of Hollywood and politics. George
commanded
forty percent of the gate and everyone else on the card including his
opponent
split the pittance that remained after rent, promotion, and
advertising.
George was "kanemochi" but sadly, they say he left this world
in alcoholism and poverty.
Vince McMahon, is a second generation promoter taking the reins of one
of the
most successful regional promotions, albeit New York, and taking it
national
and international to success never dreamed of by his father. Proving
all the
sooth sayers wrong, "Vince is, truly Kanemochi."
The real kanemochi
may be Giant Baba, the man who twenty four years ago with the help of
my father,
Dory Funk Sr. began with a small group of wrestlers, what has proven to
be
the most consistent and profitable promotion in the world. All Japan
Pro
Wrestling. Mirror mirror on the wall in wrestling, who is the richest
of
them all.
The richest of them all is Jerry Lawler. The reason Lawler sits so
close to Vince McMahon on
Monday Night Raw is obvious, He's got his hands in Vinces pockets.
Lawler
is so rich because he never spends a dime. He is so tight when we went
out to eat, he stole the tip from a waitress with two hungry kids.
Lawler
makes an art out of avoiding picking up checks. When they bring the
bill,
he sits with his back to the waiter. When he turns around, he acts as
if
he is afraid the check is going to reach out and hit him. He's a man of
rare gifts, he rarely gives one. Lawler throws money around like a man
without arms. Lawler is a real carefree guy, He doesn't care if it's
free.
Jerry Lawler is the real kanemochi.
They call him the King, King Jerry Lawler. He conquered them all, but
they all came to Memphis where the cards were stacked, still he was
proud, he could win in Memphis. He faced the best in his back yard,
Bockwinkel,
Funk, Race, and Andy Kauffman. Andy Kauffman!!! can you believe that.
He must have been proud to beat Andy
Kauffman. Andy must have weighed as least 125 pounds. What should he do
next, wrestle Tinny Tim. Lawler shouldn't be called King, He should be
Queen, "Queen Jerry Lawler." What a great name, the King of the
ring. Queen Jerry Lawler.
How about the record of Queen Jerry Lawler?
If you listen to him on "Raw" you would think he is really great
but, I am here to tell the truth. I was there in Cherry Hill
Pennsylvania
when Eddie Gilbert's little brother, Doug Gilbert whipped him from
pillar
to post and would you believe Doug put his shoulders to the mat and
pinned
him one two three. Lawler's face was red. Back behind ringside Doug's
Father
Tommy and I were laughing our asses off. I said to Tommy, "Your kid
is King. Now I'm here to tell everyone in cyberspace, Doug Gilbert
Beat Jerry Lawler and I saw it happen."
Lawler, your wealth may give you happiness and it may make you glad
But on that night in Cherry Hill When you faced Doug Gilbert, Queen
Kanemochi,
You were had.
-Dory Funk Jr.
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