In Funk's Corner

Dynamite Match for Next PPV

I awoke this morning to read Buck Woodward's report on 1wrestling.com, eager to
find out the results of the World Championship Match between Triple H and Kevin
Nash. Following is the gist of the story.

Wrestling World Championship
Contestants, Kevin Nash vs Triple H
Official for the match, Mick Foley

Nash tries to ram Hunter into a set of steel steps?
Nash Rams Hunter into the steel post.
Nash goes under the ring and pulls out a chair.
Nash hits Hunter in the gut and the back with the chair.
Hunter squirms in the ring in pain.
Nash whips Hunter into the steel steps.
Nash then whips Hunter into the other steel steps.
Nash throws the steel steps at Hunter.
Hunter goes under the ring and finds a tool box.
Hunter takes the divider out of the tool box but Nash hits him before he can use it.
Hunter picks up a hammer and hits Nash in the leg, then in the head with it.
Nash is bleeding.
Hunter rams Nash into the ring steps.
Hunter pulls out a screwdriver.
Hunter kicks Nash in the gut and drives a screwdriver into his head.
Hunter goes under the ring and pulls out a two by four wrapped in barbed wire.
Nash takes it away and hits hunter with it.
Hunter is now bleeding.
Nash rams a bleeding Hunter into the barbed wire.
Hunter breaks a wooden crate over Nash's head.
Hunter hits Nash over the head with a chair.
Hunter hits the referee with the chair and the referee is bleeding.
The referee sticks an old dirty sock in Hunter's mouth and Hunter kicks him in the testicles.
Nash hits the Referee and Hunter with steel steps.
Nash catapults Hunter into the barbed wire wrapped two by four.
Hunter hits Nash in the head with a sledge hammer and:
Covers for a three count to win the World Championship Wrestling Match.

Whispered rumors from inside the corporate doors are that there will be a return match.

This time there will be five gallons of thumbtacks spread over the wrestling mat.
Electrical barbed wire will surround the ring rigged with explosives.
Three tables will be stationed under the ring with fifty light bulbs attached to each table.

A triple level cage will cover the ring. In the top cage will be a 1500 pound grizzly bear
who has been given all the liquid he can drink and has not been allowed to void for six hours

The winner of the match will be allowed to put a stick of dynamite up the loser's ass
and blow him away.

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Visit Dory Funk's Home Page

!BANG! now airs on WRBW UPN 65 out of Orlando, Florida every Saturday
at 6:30am. UPN 65 will increase our coverage to over two million homes in
Orlando, Daytona, Melbourne, Lakeland, Ocala and Central Florida. UPN-
65 broadcasts at 5,000,000 Watts from a 1600' tower in Orange County.
Orlando is the largest entertainment market outside New York and Los Angeles.
Exposure in this market could be critical to your career in sports entertainment.

!BANG! is now a weekly TV Taping giving our wrestlers more opportunity
to perform under fire. Here at the Funking Conservatory, our students
are on camera daily and perform in front of an audience on weekly !BANG!,
now accessible to millions of viewers in the Orlando area.

At the Dory Funk Arena we have limited seating. We invite our fans to "Bring
Your Own Chair" and reserve your chair space. Tickets for !BANG! weekly are
only $5.00. On June 28th, you won't want to miss "The Big !BANG!" Tickets for
The Big Bang are $12 in advance and $15 at the door.

New Japan Pro-wrestling's Osamu Nishimura will be on the card for the "Big
!BANG!" along with the First Lady of Professional Wrestling, Missy Hyatt.
For ticket information you can call:
352-895-4658
E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Visit Dory Funk's Home Page