!BANG! TV Report
Airdates: March 31 through April 4
WOGX TV FOX 51 Ocala, FL
Written by James Malone aka Sign Guy
E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Visit Dory's Home Page
Join the Funking Conservatory
Hi everyone and welcome to the !BANG! TV report. The next !BANG! TV taping titled "Fools Be Damned" will be taking place on Saturday night, April 26, at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. The Funking Conservatory Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor will be defending his Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship in the main event. We'll find out against who later on in the report.
Today's program started off with Bonecrusher and The First Lady Of Wrestling Missy Hyatt standing in the middle of the ring. Bonecrusher called for Adam Windsor to come to the ring immediately. Adam came to the ring and got right into Bonecrusher's face. Bonecrusher then asked Windsor if he was man enough to put his Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship on the line in the Texas Death Match. As Adam prepared to answer the question, he was jumped from behind by Blackout, Rainman and Murder One.
The assault became a four on one mugging as Bonecrusher and Missy joined in. The ring cleared when Coach Dory Funk, Jr. came into the ring. Adam took the microphone and told Bonecrusher that he not only would he put the title on the line in the Texas Death Match, but that he would kick his butt.
Later in the evening, Bonecrusher came to the ring accompanied by Missy Hyatt for the Texas Death Match. Bonecrusher was taunting the fans and making threats against them and even made threats against this reporter.
The music hit again and the special outside enforcer came to the ring. It was none other than WWE talent scout Dr. Tom Prichard. The Claw would be the official referee.
Adam's music finally came over the speakers and Bonecrusher turned to the ring entry way to wait for The Royal Stud. What Bonecrusher didn't know was that Adam came into the arena via the front door and came into the ring with a chair. Adam took the chair and smacked it right across Bonecrusher's back as The Claw called for the bell to officially start the match.
As the bell rang, Adam took the chair again and clocked Bonecrusher right between the eyes. Adam made the quick cover for three and the first fall. Bonecrusher made it to his feet before The Claw could count to ten. Adam continued with chair in hand with more shots to the head, ribs, and back of Bonecrusher. Adam ran outside the ring and grabbed two more chairs from underneath the ring.
Adam set the two chairs up in the middle of the ring and proceeded to bodyslam Bonecrusher through the chairs. Adam took the third chair and kept going on Bonecrusher's ribs, back, and shoulder. Adam set the chair in between the top and middle turnbuckles and threw Bonecrusher head first into the chair.
Adam set up another chair and sat Bonecrusher right in it. Adam backed into the corner and gave Bonecrusher a dropkick right to his face. Adam then laid a folded up chair on the prone Bonecrusher and used a legdrop right on top of the chair. Adam made the cover for another three count. Again, Bonecrusher made it back up by the count of nine.
As Bonecrusher stood up, Adam gave him another shot to the head with the chair, followed up by a shot to the back. Adam left the ring again to bring another weapon in. Adam reached under the ring and pulled out a LADDER and two more chairs. The Royal Stud then stood Bonecrusher up in the corner and placed the ladder right against him. Adam picked up a chair and smacked the ladder with it.
Bonecrusher fell flat on his behind in the corner. Adam took the ladder and set it right in between Bonecrusher's legs. Adam picked up yet another chair and once again smacked the ladder with it sending Bonecrusher into lots of pain. Adam took Bonecrusher and laid him down on top of the ladder. Adam came down on Bonecrusher from the middle turnbuckle with an elbow drop. Adam rolled Bonecrusher to the mat and scored another pin.
Somehow, Bonecrusher was up quick and caught Adam from behind with forearms to the head and midsection. Adam countered with forearms of his own knocking Bonecrusher back down to the mat. Adam picked up yet another chair and went back to work on Bonecrusher's back. As Adam picked the chair up for another chair shot, Bonecrusher kicked Adam in the midsection but Adam was still able to connect on Bonecrusher's back with the chair.
Adam was then outside the ring looking underneath for more weapons. To the fans delight, Adam pulled out the ever popular table. Adam set the table up in the corner and then went to the opposite corner to prepare to throw Bonecrusher through the table.
Just as Adam was ready to do the deed, both members of Blackout ran into the ring and jumped Adam from behind like they always do. Rainman and Murder One threw Adam into the ropes and caught him with their signature move the Violator 420. As Adam stood on his feet, Bonecrusher clotheslined him right through the table and followed up with the big Bonecrusher elbow drop. Bonecrusher made the cover for the three count.
As Adam made it back up, he was knocked back down to the mat by a chair shot from Rainman. Bonecrusher tried to pin Adam again, but somehow Adam kicked out at two. Bonecrusher took the ladder and laid it on top of a prone Adam. Next thing you know, Bonecrusher and both members of Blackout each had a chair and start smacking the ladder with the chairs. Once they were done, Bonecrusher made the cover for three.
Bonecrusher went underneath the ring to grab another table and bring it into the ring. Bonecrusher once again smacked Adam in the head with a chair as Adam made it to his feet before the ten count. Bonecrusher first set the table up in the middle of the ring and then set up the ladder.
Bonecrusher then picked Adam up and attempted to whip Adam into the opposite corner. Adam tried to counter but Bonecrusher countered right back and nearly whipped him into the corner right where The Claw was standing. Adam was able to stop, but was chokeslammed right into the corner squashing The Claw and knocking her out.
At this point, Dr. Tom Prichard had jumped into the ring to officiate what was left of the match. Adam tried to fight back on Bonecrusher and went for a bodyslam in which he could not pick Bonecrusher up. Adam did however knock Bonecrusher down to the mat and started to climb up the ladder.
Bonecrusher managed to stop Adam from climbing with a hard blow to the back. Bonecrusher started climbing the ladder from the other side. Both Adam and Bonecrusher started to exchange blows from the top of the ladder until Bonecrusher shoved Adam off the ladder and through the other table. Bonecrusher came down off the ladder and made the cover for three which was counted very fast by Dr. Prichard.
Dr. Prichard then made a very fast ten count which was impossible to get up from and as a shock to the crowd, proclaimed Bonecrusher the winner and tried to hand him the World Heavyweight Championship belt.
Coach Dory Funk, Jr. came into the ring with the microphone and had a few choice words for Dr. Prichard. He informed Dr. Prichard that even though he was the special outside enforcer, he was not a designated second referee. Dory then ordered a restart to the match. As Dory was leaving the ring, Dr. Prichard tried to jump him from behind. Dr. Prichard didn't know that Dory was ready for him. Dory turned around and caught Dr. Prichard with two of the famous Funk forearms and then threw him out of the ring.
The bell rang for the match to continue. As Bonecrusher turned around, he was clocked over the head once more with a chair, only it was Dory who had the chair in his hands. Dory helped The Claw over to where Adam had Bonecrusher pinned. She made the three count for the pin and started her ten count on both wrestlers. When The Claw reached ten, Adam was up and Bonecrusher wasn't. Adam was declared the winner and STILL Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Champion.
After the match was over, Dr. Prichard took the microphone and started accusing both Dory and The Claw of favoritism and nepotism. He then stated that every time he has been made an outside enforcer, he has been overruled by Dory and The Claw. He finally said that since he was an official from WWE, he overruled Dory, overruled The Claw, and that he OWNED Adam. Dr. Prichard went on to say that by power vested in him by Vince McMahon and World Wrestling Entertainment, he ordered Adam to defend his Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship against both members of Blackout, Rainman and Murder One, in a handicap match. Furthermore, Adam would have to defeat both Rainman and Murder One in order to win the match and retain the title. After accepting the challenge, Adam had just two words for Dr. Prichard, "SCREW YOU!!!!!!".
The main event is now set for "Fools Be Damned" on Saturday night, April 26, at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. Adam Windsor will defend his Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship against Rainman and Murder One of Blackout in a handicap match in which he must defeat both men in order to win the match and keep the belt.
Also on the card will be the current Funking Conservatory Women's Champion Dixie the Diva of Domination (3D), !BANG! TV Champion Red Power, Funking Conservatory European Champion Sledgehammer, The First Lady Of Wrestling Missy Hyatt, and making his return will be The U.K. Kid.
Other wrestlers will be named later and officiating the action is the best referee in the business, The Claw who is The Law. See
you all next week.
E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Visit Dory's Home Page
Join the Funking Conservatory