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     Hello and welcome to another edition of the !BANG! TV Report. Today's
show kicked off with a battle royal. The wrestlers involved were the Funking
Conservatory Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor, Funking
Conservatory Tag Team Champions from NWA Wildside The Lost Boyz (Azreal &
Slim J), also from NWA Wildside Blackout (Rainman & Murder One),
"Sledgehammer" Cory Connors, "The Premiere Talent" David Kich, and 15 year
old Irwin Doppschwalla.

     Irwin, the first graduate of the Funking Conservatory's Teen Program to
appear on !BANG!, would be the first wrestler eliminated as he was pinned by
Murder One. David Kich would be next after being pinned by Slim J, who was
then thrown over the top rope by Rainman. The next wrestler eliminated was
Sledgehammer when he was pinned by Azreal.

     This now left Adam alone in the ring with the very three men that he and
the Funk Brothers (Terry & Dory Jr.) will be facing at "Mean Feast" on
Saturday, November 23 at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL.

     All three NWA Wildside wrestlers proceeded to triple team the Royal
Stud. Blackout would be the next two wrestlers eleminated as Adam threw Rainman
over the top rope and Azreal threw Murder One over the top rope. As it came down to
Azreal and Adam, Azreal charged towards Adam and Adam stepped aside sending
Azreal over the top rope. As Adam started to celebrate, he did not see that
Blackout had stopped Azreal from falling to the floor. Azreal ran back into
the ring and sent Adam falling off the turnbuckle to the floor eliminating
him. The winner of the battle royal, Azreal.

     The next match would feature "The Premiere Talent" David Kich against
one half of Blackout, Rainman. Rainman would be accompanied by The First Lady
Of Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt. The match started off with David
putting Rainman in a fireman's carry. This didn't please Missy at all. David
followed up on Rainman with an armdrag. Rainman countered with a rake to the
eyes on David. Rainman continues his assault on Davis with two blows to the
head, a chop, a kneelift, and a blow to the back. Rainman whipped David into
the ropes and connected with a dropkick and followed up with a bodyslam, but
as he went for a leg drop, David moved out of the way. David whipped Rainman
into the ropes and caught him with a clothesline. David went for a cover, but
Rainman kicked out at two. David picked up Rainman and put him in a bodyslam
and then went for the leg drop. He also missed as Rainman moved out of the
way. Rainman whipped David into the ropes and put him into the finisher known
as the blackout. Rainman made the cover for three and the victory. Your
winner, Rainman.

     The next segment was a presentation of the Funking Conservatory's
Fighting Heart Award. The latest recipient would be Lady Tiffany. Coach Funk
presented Lady Tiffany with her award and she thanked him along with Adam
Windsor. Irwin Doppschwalla went to shake Lady Tiffany's hand and then tried
to give her a kiss. Lady Tiffany pushed Irwin away and as Adam started to
discipline Irwin, Missy Hyatt came storming into the ring. Missy started to
complain that since she claims to have  come to the Funking Conservatory at
least 30 times, she deserved an award. Then Missy took one look at Irwin and
told him that not only was Star Wars her favorite movie, but she had never
kissed a Jedi before. Missy then planted a big wet kiss on Irwin, which sent
him into convulsions on the mat. Missy then picked a catfight with Lady
Tiffany after trying to snatch the award. Lady Tiffany showed Missy why she
won the award to begin with. Missy left the ring with her shoes around her
ankles.

     Today's feature match would become a classic. This match would be for
the vacant !BANG! TV title and would pit Murder One, who had Missy Hyatt at
ringside, against the debuting Teen Program graduate Irwin Doppschwalla, who
came to the ring wielding a light saber. Murder One started by poking Irwin
and told him to go to his corner to stretch. As Murder One went to his
corner, he did not see Irwin following him. As Murder One turned around,
Irwin rolled him up in a small package and the Claw counted to three. The
crowd went crazy as 15 year old Irwin Doppschwalla not only wrestled the
quickest match (4 seconds) in Funking Conservatory history, he had also
become the youngest !BANG! TV Champion ever.

     This Saturday Night at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL, the !BANG! TV
taping "Mean Feast" will take place with the main event being Team NWA
Wildside, Blackout with Lost Boy Azreal in their corner, taking on Team Funking
Conservatory, The Royal Stud Adam Windsor and his partners Dory Funk Jr. with
Terry Funk in their corner. Azreal's tag team partner Slim J will be on the card along
with newcomers Karl Harker & Paul Parisio from England. Missy Hyatt will also
be returning to !BANG! this month. Get your tickets early because they're going fast.
See you next week.

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory's Home Page