!BANG! TV Report
Airdate: December 19, 2002
Cox Cable Channel 16 Ocala FL
Written by James Malone aka Sign Guy
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     Hello all and Happy Holidays. Welcome to the latest edition of the
!BANG! TV Report. Next week will be a grand event as !BANG! will celebrate
it's 100th broadcast. Also this Saturday will be the "Florida Wildfire" TV
taping with the main event being the Funking Conservatory Triple Crown
Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor defending his Funking Conservatory World
Heavyweight Championship against Murder One of NWA Wildside's Blackout in a
Texas Death Match. More on the card later.

    Today's opening contest would be Adam Windsor defending the Funking
Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship against Karl Harker, one half of
the Funking Conservatory Tag Team Champions. The match started off with Karl
catching Adam in a legtrip and followed up with a front facelock, but Adam
countered with a front facelock as well. Karl managed to slip under Adam and
catch him in an armbar. Adam countered again with an armtwist into an armbar.
Adam forced Karl's shoulders to the mat to try for a cover, but Karl kicked
out at two.
    Once Karl was back to his feet, he took Adam back down to the mat with a
headlock takedown. As Adam made it back to his feet, he pushed Karl into the
ropes but was knocked down by Karl's shoulder tackle. Karl then bounced off
the ropes, hopped over Adam, was then leapfrogged by Adam, and then hiptossed
by Adam. Adam followed up with an armdrag back into an armbar. The Claw asked
Karl if he wanted to quit and Karl said no.
    Adam attempted a pin after a leg trip, but Karl kicked out at two. Adam
then applied a surfboard type hold on Karl, who still refused to give up.
Karl made his way out of the surfboard and applied a sleeper hold on Adam.
Adam countered with a go from behind cradle rollup to try for the pinfall,
but Karl kicked out again at two. The match continued with many scientific
moves and holds until Adam pushed Karl into the ropes and gave him two blows
to the midsection followed up by a big chop.
    Adam went to whip Karl into the ropes, but Karl reversed and caught Adam
in a belly to belly suplex. Karl went for a cover, but Adam kicked out at
two. Karl once again reapplied the armbar to Adam and followed up with a
vertical suplex. Karl went for a cover, but Adam again kicked out at two.
Karl placed Adam in the corner and went to whip him into the opposite corner,
but Adam countered with a series of blows tot he midsection and uppercuts.
    Adam continued his attack on Karl with a double arm suplex. Adam went for
the cover, but Karl once again managed to kick out at two. Adam took Karl
back down to the mat with a snap mare followed up by a dropkick to the back
of Karl's head. Adam tried for the cover again, but Karl somehow kicked out
at two. Adam went to whip Karl into the ropes but Karl reversed the whip and
caught Adam coming off the ropes with the pinwheel suplex. Karl went for a
cover, but Adam kicked out at two.
    Karl attempted to whip Adam into the corner, but Adam reversed the whip
sending Karl into the corner. Karl caught Adam with a kick to the midsection
as he charged the corner. Karl went to give Adam a clothesline, but Adam
ducked and as Karl turned around gave him the superkick. Adam went for the
cover, but Karl somehow kicked out of the superkick at two.
    Adam decided that this was it. He picked Karl up and put him in the
patented Royal Ride. Adam made the cover for three and the victory. Your
winner and still Funking Conservatory Heavyweight Champion, The Royal Stud
Adam Windsor.

     The next match was a rematch from "Hell To Pay" for the !BANG! TV
Championship with Murder One of NWA Wildside's Blackout, with The First Lady
Of Wrestling The Lovely Missy Hyatt in his corner, taking on the very
wrestler who beat him for the title in only four seconds and the youngest TV
Champion in !BANG! history, 15 year old Irwin Doppschwalla.
    The match started off with Murder One shoving Irwin to the mat after a
lockup. Outside the ring, Missy was pleading with Murder One not to hurt
Irwin. Murder One caught Irwin in an armbar, but Irwin countered with an
armdrag. Murder One then shoved Irwin into the corner and started pounding
Irwin unmercifully until The Claw grabbed his arm and told him to stop.
    As Murder One argued with The Claw, Irwin had dropped to his hands and
knees and tripped up Murder One as he had backed away from The Claw. Irwin
tried to repeat history as he tried to pin Murder One, but Murder One kicked
out at two. Murder One was quick to his feet and hit Irwin with a hard
clothesline and followed up with two elbow drops. Murder One made the easy
cover for three and the victory. Your winner and new !BANG! TV Champion,
Murder One.
    After the match was over, Murder One told Missy to raise his hand, but
she refused. Murder One could not believe that his valet cared more about the
welfare and safety of a teenage boy than his winning the !BANG! TV
Championship. He asked Missy if she was with him or the kid. Missy chose to
stay with Irwin and she made sure he was okay. Missy's days with Blackout
look to be over.

    Today's main event would see NWA Wildside's The Lost Boyz, Azrael and
Slim J, taking on each other in a singles match as the result of blaming each
other for the loss of the Funking Conservatory Tag Team Championship.
    The match started off with both men countering each other's moves. The
action was fast until Slim J slowed it down with a headlock on Azrael. Slim J
went for a spinkick on Azrael but missed, Azrael went for a spinkick on Slim
J, but he missed too, Both Lost Boyz ended up with the spinkick on each other
at the same time knocking each other down to the mat.
    Once both men were up, Azrael went to clothesline slim J, but Slim J
ducked underneath and caught Azrael with a Russian legsweep. Slim J went to
the top turnbuckle to do the moonsault, but Azrael bounced against the ropes
to stop Slim J. Azrael gave Slim J a neckbreaker while he was hooked by his
leg to the turnbuckle. Azrael continued with kicks and another neckbreaker on
Slim J before he unhooked Slim J from the tree of woe.
    Azrael whipped Slim J into the opposite corner and caught him with the
running clothesline. The force sent Slim J into the air giving Azrael to give
him another neckbreaker. Azrael went for the cover, but Slim J kicked out at
two. Azrael whipped Slim J into the ropes and gave him a huge clothesline.
Azrael whipped Slim J into the ropes again and caught him with a kick to the
midsection and a series of both front and back kicks sending him down to the
mat. Azrael tried to pin slim J twice, but both times Slim J kicked out at
two.
    Azrael picked up Slim J and gave him a piledriver. Azrael went for
another cover, but Slim J barely kicked out at two. Azrael went to dropkick
Slim J in his head, but Slim J caught Azrael in the low part of the body with
his foot. Slim J went to the top turnbuckle to try again for the moonsault.
Slim J came flying off the top for the moonsault, but Azrael caught him in
midair with another neckbreaker. Azrael went for another cover, but Slim J
kicked out at 2 7/8. Azrael whipped Slim J into the ropes and as he grabbed
Slim J, Slim J did a 360 in the air, grabbed onto Azrael's arm, jumped on the
ropes, and came off with an inverted bulldog. Slim J made the cover for three
and the victory, Your winner, Slim J.
    We are now just two days away from the next !BANG! TV taping titled
"Florida Wildfire". The event will be Saturday night, December 21, at the
Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. The main event will be a Texas Death Match
between Funking Conservatory Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam
Windsor and newly crowned !BANG! TV Champion Murder One. The Funking
Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship will be on the line for this
great match.
    Joining Dory and Adam at "Florida Wildfire" will be The First Lady Of
Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt, NWA Wildside's Blackout and The Lost Boyz,
former !BANG! TV Champion Domino, Sledgehammer, and others. Also on the card
will be Johnny Heartbreaker and WWC Universal Champion Carly Colon.
    One of the questions with this event is who will be the new Funking
Conservatory Women's Champion? The Irish Siren Alex Breslin is the number one
contender, but she will face the challenge of either Allison Nichols or Red
Power. Speaking of powerful women, all matches will be officiated by the
woman whose word is the law, she is The Claw.
    See you all next week for the recap of !BANG!'s 100th show. Until then,
have a safe and Happy Holiday season from the Funking Conservatory.

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the Funking Conservatory Newsletter
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory Funk's Home Page