!BANG! TV Report
Airdate: December 5, 2002
Cox Cable Channel 16 Ocala, FL
Written by James Malone aka Sign Guy
E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the !BANG! Newsletter
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory's Home Page
Hello all and welcome once again to the !BANG! TV report. A quick reminder that !BANG!'s 100th show is now only three weeks away. The next !BANG! TV taping "Florida Wildfire" will take place on Saturday, December 21 at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. The main event will be a Texas Death Match between Adam Windsor and Murder One of NWA Wildside's Blackout. I would also like to congratulate Adam Windsor who on this coming Saturday, December 7, will be walking down the aisle with his lovely bride Christina Kain in a fabulous Royal Wedding which will be the social event of the year.

The first match on today's program would see NWA Wildside's Lost Boyz, Azrael & Slim J, defending the Funking Conservatory Tag Team Championship against two newcomers to !BANG! from England, Karl Harker of Manchester and Paul Parisio of Leeds.

The match began with Karl and Slim J with Slim J catching Karl with an armtwist into a headlock. Karl countered with an armtwist on Slim J and continued working on the left shoulder. Karl turned and made the first tag of the match to Paul. Paul picked up where Karl left off by working on the left arm of Slim J and then applied a short arm scissors. Paul followed up with a legdrop on the arm of Slim J. Slim J countered with a rake to Paul's eyes and quickly tagged in Azrael. Azrael went after Paul with side kicks to Paul's leg and followed up by stomping on him. Azrael continued with a side kick to Paul's knee followed up by a side kick to Paul's head knocking him down. Azrael then made the tag to Slim J.
Slim J came in with a stomp on Paul's stomach. Slim J continued with a bodyslam followed up by a backflip splash on Paul. Slim J picked Paul up and made the tag to Azrael. Azrael whipped Paul into the ropes and caught him with a clothesline. Azrael gave Paul a huge bodyslam and followed up with three kneedrops to Paul's head. Azrael made another tag to Slim J. Slim J went for the first cover of the match, but Paul kicked out at two. Slim J whipped Paul into the ropes and connected with a back elbow smash. Slim J tagged Azrael back into the match.

Azrael whipped Paul into the ropes and attempted a back body drop, but Paul countered with a sunset flip pinning combination which Azrael kicked out of at two. Azrael continued to kick Paul several times in the legs and head. Azrael made the tag to Slim J. Slim J gave Paul a bodyslam and went to the top rope. Slim J executed a perfect moonsault, but missed when Paul moved out of the way. This gave Paul the opportunity to tag a fresh Karl back in just as Slim J tagged Azrael. Karl went on a rampage by clotheslining Azrael, then Slim J, then Azrael again, then Slim J again. Karl followed up with a swinging elbow drop on Azrael who was the legal man. Karl went for a cover, but Azrael kicked out at two. Karl whipped Azrael into the ropes and caught him with a clothesline. Karl then placed Azrael in the corner and gave him two huge chops, but they had no effect as Azrael counteracted with two chops on Karl. Azrael made the tag to Slim J. Azrael picked Karl up for Slim J to execute a spin kick to Karl's head, but Karl ducked and Slim J caught Azrael with the kick instead. Karl rolled Azrael out of the ring and rolled up Slim J in the schoolboy rollup for the three count, the victory, and the tag team belts in what would be the second biggest upset of the year. Your winners and NEW Funking Conservatory Tag Team Champions. Karl Harker & Paul Parisio.

The next match would feature intergender action as NWA Wildside star Dirt would make his !BANG! debut against the First Lady Of Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt. Missy would be accompanied to the ring by 15 year old !BANG! TV Champion Irwin Doppschwalla. Missy then took the microphone and announced that she could defeat Dirt wearing an evening gown, which is why she came to the ring in an evening gown.

The match got under way with Missy going right to an armtwist on Dirt, who easily countered with an armtwist of his own. Missy countered back with a slap to the face of Dirt and went back to the arm twist. Missy surprised the crowd by whipping Dirt into the ropes and catching him with a clothesline. Missy almost lost her dress at that point. As she played to the crowd, Dirt picked her up and gave her a bodyslam in the corner and folded her up for the three count and victory.

Missy pointed out to The Claw that Dirt had used the ropes to gain the win, which he did. Missy went up behind Dirt and gave him a low blow. As he writhed in pain, Missy ordered Irwin to run to the other side of the ring with the secret weapon. Irwin put something in his hand which turned out to be Dirt's missing dirt. Irwin threw the dirt in Dirt's face blinding him. As Dirt turned around, Missy kicked him in the stomach and executed a DDT on him. Missy made the cover and The Claw counted to three. Then the moment happened. For the second time, Missy planted a big wet kiss on the lips of Irwin causing him to once again go into convulsions on the mat.

Today's main event would be an impromptu match with Murder One of NWA Wildside's Blackout issuing a challenge to the Funking Conservatory Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor for the Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship. Adam accepted the challenge and prepared to wrestle. The Claw took the microphone and announced that Rainman & Azrael, along with Dory & Terry Funk, would have to leave the ringside area. Once the ringside area was clear, The Claw called for the bell.

Once the bell rang, Murder One attacked right away with a clothesline and punches to the head of Adam. Murder One attempted to whip Adam into the ropes, but Adam countered and attempted a clothesline in which Murder One ducked and caught Adam in a huge bodyslam. Murder One went for the cover, but Adam kicked out at two. Murder One whipped Adam into the ropes and gave him a side rotating back bodydrop. Murder One then kicked Adam in the back and followed up with a reverse chinlock. The Claw asked Adam if he wanted to give up, but Adam said NO.     Murder One proceeded to use a series of punches on Adam which sent him down to the mat. Murder One went for another cover, but Adam again kicked out at two. Murder One attempted to whip Adam into the corner, but Adam reversed and went for the running clothesline only to receive Murder One's boot in his chest. Adam went to kick Murder One in the midsection, but as Murder One blocked the kick, he couldn't block Adam's sigiry kick to the head. Adam whipped Murder One into the ropes and caught him with the reverse elbow smash. Adam followed up with the double arm suplex. Adam went for the cover, but Murder One kicked out at two. Adam caught Murder One with a bodyslam followed up by the swinging elbow drop. Adam went for another cover, but Murder One once again kicked out at two. Adam went to the top rope only to be pushed down by Rainman. Azrael joined in and Adam became the victim of a three on one mugging.

As The Claw tried to gain control of the match, Coach Dory Funk, Jr. hit the ring only to be clotheslined by Rainman. Azrael joined Rainman in attacking the living legend. All of a sudden, Terry Funk came into the ring with a baseball bat. At that point, Team NWA Wildside cleared the ring. The Claw had seen enough and called for the bell. She ruled the match a double disqualification via interference on both sides. Adam would retain the Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship.

As stated at the top of the report, the next !BANG! TV taping titled "Florida Wildfire" will take place at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL, on Saturday night, December 21. Dory Funk, Jr. and Adam Windsor will be there along with Missy Hyatt, Dirt, Blackout, and the Lost Boyz. Returning for this month's show will be TNT Travis Taylor and former !BANG! TV Champion Domino. Also returning will be Funking Conservatory Women's Champion The Temptress Cleopatra as well as the #1 contender to Cleo's title, Alex "The Irish Siren" Breslin. Irwin Doppschwalla will be returning as well and making his !BANG! debut will be Irwin's brother, Francis Doppschwalla. Several others will be on the card and all matches will be officiated by the woman who's word is the law, The Claw. Doors open at 6 PM and matches start at 7 PM. Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door. Get your tickets now.

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the !BANG! Newsletter
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory's Home Page