E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the !BANG! Newsletter
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory's Home Page

     Hello all and welcome to another edition of the !BANG! TV Report.
Today's show featured color commentators Dory Funk, Jr. & Funking Conservatory
Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor along with three classic
matches from past !BANG! shows.
     Kicking off today's show was a match for the Triple Crown Championship.
Adam Windsor was defending his three belts (FC Florida, FC International, and FC
World Heavyweight Championships) against the man named Hellcat. This contest
got under way with an armlock by Adam on Hellcat. Adam tried for an early pin
but Hellcat
kicked out at two. Adam tried the pin again and Hellcat once again kicked out
at two. Adam caught Hellcat in a fireman's carry into an armlock. Adam then
picked Hellcat up and shoved him into the corner. Adam then gave Hellcat a
punch to the stomach followed up by two big chops. Adam then whipped Hellcat
into the opposite corner and followed up with the running clothesline into a
DDT. Adam went for the cover but Hellcat kicked out at two. Adam went for a
forearm to the face of Hellcat, but Hellcat caught Adam with a reverse
jawbreaker. Hellcat went for the cover, but Adam kicked out at two. Hellcat
then placed Adam in a fisherman suplex into a pinning combination, but Adam
once again kicked out at two. Hellcat performed the same move again and Adam
kicked out at two again. Hellcat attempted to whip Adam into the ropes but
Adam reversed. Hellcat ducked a clothesline attempt by Adam, but as he turned
around Adam nailed him with the superkick. Adam went for the cover, but
somehow Hellcat kicked out at two. Not many people kick out after the
superkick. Adam whipped Hellcat into the ropes, picked him up and planted him
with the Kryptonite Crunch. Adam made the cover for three and was awarded the
victory.
     The next match featured the wrestling hillbilly Cyrus Po against the
self proclaimed most watchable man in wrestling, Ricky Noble. The match
started off with Cyrus inviting Ricky to do a do-si-do. The two men
do-si-do'ed one way and as they started to do-si-do the other way, Ricky
turned the do-si-do into an armdrag.
Ricky then challenged Cyrus to a test of strength. Ricky managed to get the
early advantage but Cyrus battled back and was on the verge of winning but
Ricky gave him a kneelift to the chest. Not releasing the hold, Ricky then
caught Cyrus with a monkey flip and still managed to keep the hold in place.
Cyrus managed to break the hold, but was caught in an alligator clutch by
Ricky, who followed up with a kneedrop. Ricky went to whip Cyrus into the
ropes, but Cyrus reversed and executed a clothesline on Ricky and followed up
with an elbow drop. Cyrus went for the cover, but Ricky kicked out at two.
Cyrus then put Ricky into a suplex and as Cyrus went for more, Ricky battled
back by shoving Cyrus chest first into the corner and catching him in a
Russian legsweep pinning combination, but Cyrus kicked out at two. Ricky then
caught Cyrus in a backdrop and went for another cover, but again only managed
a two count. Ricky then put Cyrus in a bodyslam followed up by an elbow drop.
Ricky went for another pin attempt, but Cyrus once again kicked out at two.
Cyrus and Ricky started exchanging blows, but Ricky managed to put Cyrus into
a German suplex and pin him for the three count.
     Today's third match would be an intergender match pitting the high flier
Paul London against the Temptress Cleopatra, who at the time was the FC
Women's Champion and known as the Living Dead Girl. The match began with a
lockup and Paul shoving Cleo down to the mat and showing off one of his
biceps. The two wrestlers locked up again and Paul once again shoved Cleo
down to the mat and this time did a double bicep pose. Cleo decided she'd had
enough and waited for Paul to turn around. That's when she slapped him. Paul
then took a swing at Cleo but missed and Cleo caught him with a schoolboy
cradle rollup, but only managed a two count. Cleo then caught Paul with a DDT
and followed up with a fireman's carry into an armlock. Paul tried to escape
the hold but Cleo gave him another fireman's carry and back into the armlock.
Paul did manage to escape the hold and backed Cleo into the corner where he
gave her three kneelifts to the stomach and took her down
with a snap mare takedown. Paul then gave Cleo three blows to her back and
then started kicking her in her back. Paul went for a cover, but Cleo kicked
out at two. Paul went for another pin, but Cleo again kicked out at two. Paul
tried a third time but was unsuccessful as Cleo once again kicked out at the
count of two. Paul then picked Cleo up and put her into a huge suplex
followed up by a bodyslam. Paul went for another cover, but Cleo somehow
kicked out at two again. Paul then picked Cleo up again and executed not one
not two, but three consecutive backbreakers before tossing her to the mat. As
Paul picked Cleo up one more time, Cleo started to fight back with three
blows to Paul's stomach. Cleo then backed Paul into the corner where she gave
him two big chops. Cleo then whipped Paul into the opposite corner where he
fell to the mat after a running clothesline and Cleo gave him a Bronco
Buster. Cleo then pulled Paul out of the corner and into the center of the
ring where she sat him up and gave him the Cleo Kick. Cleo then gave him a
second Cleo Kick. Cleo then went for a pinning attempt, but Paul kicked out
at two. Cleo then decided to give Paul two swift kicks to his stomach. Cleo
went to the middle rope and attempted a flying body block. As she landed on
Paul, he used the momentum to roll Cleo up and by pulling on her pants pinned
her for the victory.
     The next !BANG! TV taping, "Hell To Pay", will take place on Saturday
night, October 26, at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. The First Lady Of
Wrestling Missy Hyatt will be making her return and one of the feature
matches will be a battle royal. The winner of the battle royal will be
awarded the !BANG! TV Championship and will have the opportunity later that
evening to face FC Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor for the
FC World Heavyweight Championship. On the card with Adam will be FC Hardcore
Champion and Most Annoying Man in the Funking Conservatory, Heater, and
several other stars with FC Head Referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff officiating
the action.
     That's all for today. Be sure to check back next week for another action
packed edition of the !BANG! TV Report. See you at the matches. BANG, BANG,
BANG!!!

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the !BANG! Newsletter
Join the Funking Conservatory
Visit Dory's Home Page