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     Today's edition of !BANG! started off with a match for the vacant !BANG!
TV Championship between the wrestling world's first wrestling Rabbi, Rabbi X,
and former FC Hardcore Champion Ox. The match started off with Ox shoving the
Rabbi to the mat after a lockup. The Rabbi was able to gain the advantage on
Ox with a headlock, but Ox shoved the Rabbi into the ropes and the Rabbi
attempted a clothesline which had no effect on Ox. The Rabbi looked up to the
sky for advice and as he turned around was clotheslined by Ox. Ox followed up
with an elbow drop and went for a cover, but the Rabbi kicked out at two. Ox
picked up the Rabbi, bounced off the ropes, and gave him another clothesline.
As Ox picked up the Rabbi again, the Rabbi caught Ox with two shots to the
midsection followed up by a headlock, but Ox was able to counter with an
armbar and tried to rip the Rabbi's arm out of the socket. Ox followed up
with a fireman's carry back into an armbar on the Rabbi. The Rabbi refused to
quit when The Claw asked him if he wanted to quit.. The Rabbi made it back to
his feet but Ox whipped him into the ropes and went for a clothesline. The
Rabbi ducked not one but two clothesline attempts and caught Ox in the
midsection with a knee and took Ox down with a clothesline. The Rabbi
signaled that he was going to end the match and then bounced off the ropes
and gave Ox an elbow drop. The Rabbi went for a cover, but Ox kicked out at
two. The Rabbi went for an illegal submission by pulling on Ox's arms and
sticking his foot in Ox's throat. The Claw immediately called for the Rabbi
to break the hold. Once the Rabbi picked Ox up, he whipped Ox into the ropes
to attempt a clothesline, but Ox countered with a shoulder tackle and
followed up with a splash. Ox covered the Rabbi for the three count and the
victory. Your winner and new !BANG! TV Champion, Ox.
     The next match on today's show featured a newcomer to !BANG! named Julia
Ricardo attempting to defeat the self proclaimed Whoa Man's Champion, Heater,
in a title match to restore the belt as the Women's Championship. The match
started off with Julia attempting to flirt with the leader of Heatermania by
showing a little cleavage and letting him stare at her butt. Heater made the
mistake of turning away from his opponent because when he turned back towards
her, she nailed him with a spear and started to choke him. The Claw
immediately called for Julia to break the hold. Heater and Julia locked up
with Julia gaining the advantage with an armdrag. Once Heater was back to his
feet, he caught Julia in a headlock and brought her down to the mat. Heater
continued his assault by giving Julia a series of blows to her back and
following up with a crossface type of maneuver. The Claw asked Julia if she
wanted to give up, but Julia said no. Heater picked Julia up by her hair and
gave her a headbutt amd a kick to her stomach. Once Julia was back down,
Heater applied his submission move called the Burning Bridges. Julia still
would not give up. Heater released the hold and as he was rising to his feet,
Julia gave him a low blow and followed up with a sommersault splash and kicks
to the back and stomach. Julia picked Heater up and whipped him into the
corner where he fell on his butt. Julia took the chance and jumped on Heater
with the Broncobuster. Julia allowed Heater to get to his feet and caught him
in a headlock. Heater pushed her into the ropes and was going for a
clothesline but Julia knocked Heater down with a shoulder tackle. Julia went
to bounce off the ropes again but Heater suprised Julia with the schoolboy
rollup and as the Claw counted to three, Heater played Julia's butt like a
bongo drum and started to sing "Babaloo". That would be Heater's last mistake
of the night because as he was celebrating his victory, Julia caught him with
one more spear. She held the belt over her head and then threw it on top of
Heater. Your winner and still Whoa Man's Champion, Heater.
     The next match saw tag team action as Rabbi X returned to the ring for
his second match of the day along with his tag team partner, Cory "The
Sledgehammer" Connors. Their opponents were !BANG! newcomers Anaconda and The
Untouchable Scotty Z. Scotty was accompanied by his lovely valet, Tiziana.
Anaconda and Cory started off the match for their respective teams. Anaconda
gained the early advantage with a fireman's carry into an armlock on Cory,
who managed to get his feet on the ropes to have the hold broken. Anaconda
started to repeatedly use closed fists on Cory until he dropped to the mat.
Anaconda made the tag to Scotty. Scotty whipped Cory into the ropes and went
for a clothesline, but missed. As Cory bounced off the ropes, he caught
Scotty with a clothesline. Cory picked Scotty up and applied a headlock which
was followed by a takeover. Cory went for a pin, but Scotty was able to kick
out at two. Cory tried to pin Scotty again, but Scotty again kicked out at
two. Scotty was able to counter with a headlock into an armbar back into a
headlock on Cory. Scotty made the tag to Anaconda, who gave Cory two kicks to
the midsection. Anaconda whipped Cory into the ropes and went for a hiptoss,
but Cory caught Anaconda with a clothesline and was finally able to make the
tag to the Rabbi. The Rabbi grabbed Anaconda with a headlock and took him
down to the mat with a takeover. The Rabbi went for a cover, but Anaconda
kicked out at one. Anaconda managed to push the Rabbi into his corner, gave
him two shots to the midsection, and then made the tag to Scotty. Scotty
started on the Rabbi with a bodyslam followed up by an elbow drop and then a
suplex. Scotty went for the cover, but the Rabbi kicked out at two. The Rabbi
countered with a headlock takeover into a pinning combination, but Scotty
kicked out at one. The Rabbi then tried to use the same illegal submission
hold he used in his previous match by pulling back on scotty's arms and
placing his foot on Scotty's throat, but The Claw would not allow it and told
the Rabbi to break the hold. The Rabbi then took a swing at Anaconda and
missed, but Anaconda grabbed the Rabbi and shouted out to Scotty to give him
a running clothesline. Scotty made his move, but the Rabbi ducked and scotty
clotheslined Anaconda by mistake. The Rabbi made the tag to Cory and Cory
went right to work on Scotty. As Cory pushed Scotty against the ropes,
Tiziana grabbed Cory's leg and tripped him up. Scotty went for the cover, but
Cory kicked out at two. Scotty picked Cory up and planted him on the mat with
a front facebuster. Scotty made the cover for three and picked up the victory
for his team. As The Claw raised the hands of Anaconda and Scotty, Tiziana
pushed The Claw to the side so she could raise Scotty's hand herself. Your
winners, Anaconda and The Untouchable Scotty Z with Tiziana.
     Today's feature match took place at the Funking Conservatory training
center. The FC Triple Crown Champion Adam Windsor took on Vik Dalishus in a
practice match. This match started off with a lockup between both wrestlers.
Adam pushed Vik into the ropes but was caught by Vik with a shoulder tackle.
After a criss cross, Adam gained the advantage on Vik with a hiptoss followed
up by a bodyslam. Vik tried to escape from the ring and almost ran over The
Claw. Both men locked up again, thistime Adam put Vik into an armbar, but Vik
reversed into his own armbar into a headlock. Adam tried the schoolboy
rollup, but Vik kicked out at two. Adam once again took Vik into an armbar
which Vik again reversed into his own armbar, but this time Adam countered
with a fireman's carry back into an armbar. Adam whipped Vik into the corner
and went for the running clothesline, but Vik caught Adam with a boot to the
face. Adam tried to counter with his own boot to Vik's face, but Vik caught
Adam's foot and Adam countered with a kick to Vik's head. Adam followed up
with a swinging neckbreaker on Vik. Adam went for the cover, but Vik kicked
out at two. Adam bounced off the ropes and caught Vik with a swinging elbow
drop followed up by a legdrop. Adam went for another cover, but again Vik
kicked out at two. Adam then put Vik in a double arm suplex and went for
another cover, but Vik kicked out at two yet again. Vik surprised Adam with a
low blow and a sit down bodyslam. Vik hooked the leg for the cover, but Adam
kicked out at two. Vik whipped Adam into the ropes and caught him with a
backdrop. Vik went for another cover, but Adam kicked out at two again. Vik
went to the second rope and came down on Adam with a flying legdrop. Vik went
for a third cover, but for a third time Adam kicked out at two. Vik went to
the top rope and executed a centon bomb, but Adam moved out of the way as Vik
came down. Adam started to make his way to the top rope, but Vik fell against
the ropes causing Adam to strattle the top turnbuckle. Vik made his way up
the ropes to put Adam in a superplex, but Adam knocked him down. Adam came
off the second rope, but Vik catches him by the neck for a chokeslam. Adam
pushed Vike into the ropes and attempted a clothesline, but Vik ducked and
thought he had outsmarted Adam, but as Vik turned around he was met by Adam's
superkick. Adam made the cover for three and the win. As Adam spoke into the
TV camera, he had no clue that Eric The Great had handed Vik a steel chair.
When Adam turned around, Vik clocked him over the head with the chair not onc
but twice. Vik and Eric then left the building together. Your winner, The
Royal Stud Adam Windsor.
     On Saturday, September 28, at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL., the
!BANG! TV tapings will once again be taking place. The show is titled "Foot
Stompin' Fall" and it will feature great wrestling action. Adam Windsor,
Osamu Nishimura, Heater, and many other stars will be on the card.
Highlighting the evening will be Dr. Tom Pritchard of WWE Talent Relations
attending the show to scout out possible new talent for the WWE. More on the m
ain event in next week's !BANG! Report. See you at the matches
 

E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Read the Funking Conservatory Newsletter
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Visit Dory Funk's Home Page