!BANG! TV Report
Airdates: Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays at 1 AM, Saturdays at 6 AM
Written by James Malone aka Sign Guy

     Hello all and welcome to the !BANG! TV report. Don't forget, the Big !BANG! is coming very soon and t
ryouts are taking place at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at 7 PM.
For more information log onto www.dory-funk.com or give Marti Funk a call at (352) 895-4658.

     The first match on today's program sees NWA Wildside's Lost Boyz, Azrael & Slim J, defending the Funking
Conservatory Tag Team Championship against two newcomers to !BANG! from England, Karl Harker of
Manchester and Paul Parisio of Leeds.

     The match begins with Karl and Slim J with Slim J catching Karl with an armtwist into a headlock. Karl
countered with an armtwist on Slim J and continued working on the left shoulder. Karl turned and made the first
tag of the match to Paul. Paul picked up where Karl left off by working on the left arm of Slim J and then applied a
short arm scissors. Paul followed up with a legdrop on the arm of Slim J. Slim J countered with a rake to Paul's eyes
and quickly tagged in Azrael. Azrael went after Paul with side kicks to Paul's leg and followed up by stomping on
him. Azrael continued with a side kick to Paul's knee followed up by a side kick to Paul's head knocking him down.
Azrael then made the tag to Slim J.      Slim J came in with a stomp on Paul's stomach. Slim J continued with a
bodyslam followed up by a backflip splash on Paul. Slim J picked Paul up and made the tag to Azrael. Azrael
whipped Paul into the ropes and caught him with a clothesline. Azrael gave Paul a huge bodyslam and followed up
with three kneedrops to Paul's head. Azrael made another tag to Slim J. Slim J went for the first cover of the match,
but Paul kicked out at two. Slim J whipped Paul into the ropes and connected with a back elbow smash. Slim J
tagged Azrael back into the match.
     Azrael whipped Paul into the ropes and attempted a back body drop, but Paul countered with a sunset flip
pinning combination which Azrael kicked out of at two. Azrael continued to kick Paul several times in the legs and
head. Azrael made the tag to Slim J. Slim J gave Paul a bodyslam and went to the top rope. Slim J executed a
perfect moonsault, but missed when Paul moved out of the way. This gave Paul the opportunity to tag a fresh Karl
back in just as Slim J tagged Azrael.      Karl went on a rampage by clotheslining Azrael, then Slim J, then Azrael
again, then Slim J again. Karl followed up with a swinging elbow drop on Azrael who was the legal man. Karl went
for a cover, but Azrael kicked out at two. Karl whipped Azrael into the ropes and caught him with a clothesline.
Karl then placed Azrael in the corner and gave him two huge chops, but they had no effect as Azrael counteracted
with two chops on Karl. Azrael made the tag to Slim J.      Azrael picked Karl up for Slim J to execute a spin kick
to Karl's head, but Karl ducked and Slim J caught Azrael with the kick instead. Karl rolled Azrael out of the ring
and rolled up Slim J in the schoolboy rollup for the three count, the victory, and the tag team belts in what would
be the second biggest upset of the year. Your winners and NEW Funking Conservatory Tag Team Champions.
Karl Harker & Paul Parisio.

     Tryouts are taking place at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL, for wrestlers to appear on the Big !BANG!
For more information on the Big !BANG! or the tryouts call Marti Funk at (352) 895-4658 or log onto Dory's
website at www.dory-funk.com.

     The next match features intergender action as NWA Wildside star Dirt would makes his !BANG! debut
against the First Lady Of Wrestling, the lovely Missy Hyatt. Missy is accompanied to the ring by 15 year old
!BANG! TV Champion Irwin Doppschwalla. Missy then took the microphone and announced that she could
defeat Dirt wearing an evening gown, which is why she came to the ring in an evening gown to begin with.

    The match gets under way with Missy going right to an armtwist on Dirt, who easily countered with an armtwist
of his own. Missy countered back with a slap to the face of Dirt and went back to the arm twist. Missy surprised
the crowd by whipping Dirt into the ropes and catching him with a clothesline. Missy almost lost her dress at that
point. Missy ordered Irwin to run to the other side of the ring with the secret weapon. Irwin put something in his
hand which turned out to be Dirt's missing dirt. Irwin threw the dirt in Dirt's face blinding him. As Dirt turned around,
Missy kicked him in the stomach and executed a DDT on him. Missy made the cover and The Claw counted to three.
Then the moment happened. For the second time, Missy planted a big wet kiss on the lips of Irwin causing him to
once again go into convulsions on the mat.

     If you are a professional wrestler who wants to be a TV star, come tryout for the Big !BANG! Tryouts are
taking place at the Dory Funk Arena in Ocala, FL. Give Marti Funk a call at (352) 895-4658 or log onto
www.dory-funk.com for more information.

     Today's classic main event is a preview to the Big !BANG! main event with Murder One against the Funking
Conservatory Triple Crown Champion The Royal Stud Adam Windsor for the Funking Conservatory World
Heavyweight Championship.      Once the bell rang, Murder One attacked right away with a clothesline and
punches to the head of Adam. Murder One attempted to whip Adam into the ropes, but Adam countered and
attempted a clothesline in which Murder One ducked and caught Adam in a huge bodyslam. Murder One went
for the cover, but Adam kicked out at two.
     Murder One whipped Adam into the ropes and gave him a side rotating back bodydrop. Murder One then
kicked Adam in the back and followed up with a reverse chinlock. The Claw asked Adam if he wanted to give
up, but Adam said NO. Murder One proceeded to use a series of punches on Adam which sent him down to
the mat. Murder One went for another cover, but Adam again kicked out at two.
     Murder One attempted to whip Adam into the corner, but Adam reversed and went for the running clothesline
only to receive Murder One's boot in his chest. Adam went to kick Murder One in the midsection, but as Murder
One blocked the kick, he couldn't block Adam's sigiry kick to the head. Adam whipped Murder One into the
ropes and caught him with the reverse elbow smash. Adam followed up with the double arm suplex. Adam went
for the cover, but Murder One kicked out at two.
     Adam caught Murder One with a bodyslam followed up by the swinging elbow drop. Adam went for another
cover, but Murder One once again kicked out at two. Adam went to the top rope only to be pushed down by
Rainman. Azrael joined in and Adam became the victim of a three on one mugging.
     As The Claw tried to gain control of the match, Coach Dory Funk, Jr. hit the ring only to be clotheslined by
Rainman. Azrael joined Rainman in attacking the living legend. All of a sudden, Terry Funk came into the ring
with a baseball bat. At that point, Team NWA Wildside cleared the ring. The Claw had seen enough and called
for the bell. She ruled the match a double disqualification via interference on both sides. Adam would retain the
Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship.

     Adam Windsor will be defending his Funking Conservatory World Heavyweight Championship against
Murder One in a rematch at the Big !BANG! coming very soon. Funking Conservatory European Champion
Sledgehammer is accepting challenges for his title and Dixie The Diva Of Domination (3D) is looking for someone
to defend her Funking Conservatory Women's Championship.      All of this great action, which will be officiated
by the best referee in the business The Claw, will take place at the Big !BANG! in Ocala, FL, very soon. See
you all next week with another action packed !BANG! TV report.
For !BANG! Tryouts, you can call:
E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
Visit Dory Funk's Home Page