!BANG!NEWSLETTER
  February , 2002 Issue 7
  Sign Guy,
  Editor In Chief
  Royal Stud Productions, Publisher

  Hello all and Happy New Year. Welcome to the first issue of 2002 of the !BANG! newsletter. On January 19 at the Dory
  Funk
  Arena,the !BANG! TV tapings will once again be taking place. The show is titled "Asian Invasion" and will feature the
  !BANG! debut of the hardcore specialist Terry Funk. The main event will be Adam Windsor once again defending his
  Triple Crown Championship (International title, Florida title, and Funking Conservatory title) in a hardcore match against
  a mystery opponent. If Adam wins, he gets five minutes to do what he wants with ring announcer Smokin Sam. Funking
  Conservatory United States Champion Osamu Nishimura of New Japan Pro Wrestling will be on the card as well as the
  Funking Conservatory Women's Champion The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra. As always, any comments and suggestions for
  this newsletter are welcome at SignGuyJ@excite.com. I can be reached at the same address.

  A word from the Editor
  I would like to take this time to welcome Royal Stud Productions as new publisher of the newsletter. I am looking
  forward to my working relationship with this company. Again I would like to thank my sponsors Dory & Marti Funk and
  Adam Windsor.

  !BANG! TV
  !BANG! now airs on Mondays and Thursdays at 5 PM on Cox Cable Channel 8 in Gainesville and Channel 16 in Ocala. Join
  your hosts Dory Funk Jr. and Andy DePalma along with Adam Windsor, Claudia "The Claw" Reiff, and other special
  guests as they bring you 30 minutes of the best wrestling action you have ever seen.

  Sponsors
  The Funking Conservatory would like to thank it's sponsors. One sponsor is LCT Transportation, which is the company
  Bonecrusher drives the big rigs for. The other sponsor is Sullivan-Watts Mazda of Ocala. This is the place to go if you
  want a new or good used car. Check out their deals.

  Trivia Contest
  A special congratulations to Lisa of Bennigan's on SR 200 for being the winner of last month's trivia contest. She knew
  that the answer to the question was that Dory Funk Jr. competed in the WWF Royal Rumble in 1996. For being correct,
  Lisa was the winner of two (2) free tickets to the "Asian Invasion" !BANG! TV taping. Hope you're ready for this
  month's question. The first person to E-MAIL me (please, no walkups at the arena) the correct answer to the trivia
  question will receive two (2) free tickets to the first of 2 March !BANG! TV tapings and will get
  to sit with me, Sign Guy, at ringside right next to the ring entrance. You can e-mail your answers along with your
  name, address, phone #, and e-mail to me at SignGuyJ@excite.com. Again, the prize will be awarded to the FIRST
  correct answer I get.

  The trivia question is:
  In what month and year did Adam Windsor wrestle his first match?

  Good luck.

  Funking Conservatory Champions
  This is an updated and current list of champions in the Funking
  Conservatory.

  Triple Crown Champion (World, Florida, International) - Adam Windsor
  United States Champion - Osamu Nishimura
  European Champion - Neil Faith
  !BANG! TV Champion - Bonecrusher
  Women's Champion - The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra
  Tag Team Champions - Heater & Partner
  Hardcore Champion - Ox
  Queen of Hardcore - The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra

  Letters to the Editor
  Dear Sign Guy,
  I compliment you on all your hard work on your newsletter. It's a shame that Lita is not your real life girlfriend. The two
  of you would make a nice looking couple. My question is what are your feelings towards the Undertaker after he threw
  Lita off the stage on RAW? By the way, keep up the good work.

  Matt from Charlotte, NC
  Dear Matt,
  Thanks for writing and for the compliments. You are 100% right that Lita and I would be awesome together. As for the
  Undertaker, the man who demands respect, I lost all the respect I had for him after what he did to her.

  Dear Sign Guy,
  What is the deal with ring announcer Smokin Sam and the champ Adam Windsor?

  Garth from Tulsa, OK
  Dear Garth,
  I appreciate you writing in. Sam claims that Adam has attacked him numerous times for no apparent reason and has
  threatened to sue him. All the fans know that it has been Sam that has caused all the problems and brings the
  punishment down on himself.

  Dear Sign Guy,
  Who are The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra's favorite wrestlers?

  Suzanne from Philadelphia, PA
  Dear Suzanne,
  Thanks for taking the time to write in. I asked Cleo that very question recently. She told me that she likes many
  wrestlers but her favorites are Undertaker, Kane, and Matt Hardy.

  Dear Sign Guy,
  I live in Georgia and I have to say my favorite wrestler is that cute little guy with the outie, Big Bank Barfield. I have
  seen him on !BANG! and in my local area with the GWF (Georgia Wrestling Federation). Could you tell me more about
  him?

  Charlene from Dublin, GA
  Dear Charlene,
  Thank you for the letter. Chad "Big Bank" Barfield just happens to reside in your town of Dublin, GA. He has wrestled on
  !BANG! twice and is currently ranked #6 for the GWF Cruiserweight Championship. When not wrestling, he works for a
  major chain of shopping centers and also plays the stock market.

  I also plan to publish letters to the wrestlers. I will make sure they get their letters and get responses. Any questions
  for myself or any of the stars of the Funking Conservatory may be sent to me at SignGuyJ@excite.com.

  Returning Stars
  Along with our regulars Adam Windsor, The Living Dead Girl
  Cleopatra, Smokin Sam, Chief Referee Claudia "The Claw" Reiff, and Bonecrusher, returning to this month's camp will be
  Hate Breeder, Heater, Manny Maivia (not the Rock's cousin), Paul London, Ricky Noble, Cyrus Po, and New Japan Pro
  Wrestling's Osamu Nishimura, who is also the Funking Conservatory United States Champion. The legendary Terry Funk
  will be making his Conservatory debut.

  New Stars
  The following individuals are attending the Funking Conservatory for the first time. They are Kaos, Robert McMichael,
  and Robert's fiancee' Mercedes..

  A statement from Smokin Sam
  Hello ladies and gentlemen. My name is Smokin Sam. I'm a manager of professional wrestlers and ring announcer for the
  Funking Conservatory. In case you didn't know, I have an issue with a certain individual here. He thinks he is the
  "beez-knees". That man's name is Adam Windsor.
  Mr. Windsor has taken it upon himself to blatantly attack me
  because he claims I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The truth is that when he took a trash can into the
  ring, I thought he was going to need help cleaning up all the bits and pieces of table that he tossed Bonecrusher
  through. I enter the ring and try to take the trash can to hold for him and what does he do? He snatches it back and
  hits me over the head with it! Then I ask him for an apology for hitting me with the trash can and what does he do? He
  sucker punches me out cold and
  proclaims that the punch was his "apology".
  At "Asian Invasion" on January 19, I have plans to bring someone in to face Adam Windsor in a hardcore match for the
  Triple Crown Championship. This person I bring in will destroy Windsor and take all the belts that the Royal "Dud" has
  worked so hard for. Windsor thinks that he will win the match so he will have five minutes in the ring with me. That will
  not be happening because not only will he lose, I will not be getting into the ring because I am not a wrestler. I am a
  manager and
  a ring announcer.
  So Windsor, shine those belts up good because they won't be yours anymore. Also, don't try anything you will regret
  because my attorneys will be in the audience and I will sue you for every penny you have! See you on the 19th.

  Exclusive Interview: Terry Funk
  This interview was conducted by 1wrestling.com on November 5, 2000.
  There is no long introduction necessary when you interview Terry Funk. Is there any other wrestler that is more
  respected than he in or out of the ring? I would go on a limb to say that there may never be another either. Every time
  Terry steps into the ring it is special.
  I had the honor of working with Terry several times in ECW. When Terry walked in to the arena, you could sense a
  change. It was as if your grandfather just walked in. Sure the boys still had the fun. There was a sense however that
  you did not want to make a mockery of yourself or the business in front of the Funker. Whether you were at the top or
  the bottom of the card, it was always an honor to speak with Terry Funk. Terry Funk is the most humble man you will
  ever meet. He is very different from your current stars. Terry will not only stop to give you
  an autograph, but he will spend hours with his fans. While some of today's stars would rather sit in a bar and chase
  women and drink with the boys, Terry would rather sit down with a group of fans, answer their questions, and thank
  everyone of them for being there. Terry is truly an inspirational man. The last year has not been a banner year in the
  career of Terry Funk. While he is once again working in a major promotion and getting a few last paydays, that is about
  all. While Terry is a company man and will go along with whatever he is told, he isn't stupid. He is well aware of the
  current situation of WCW and the
  wrestling business overall. Terry Funk is one of the most brutally honest men you will meet. That is why I asked the
  questions I did. To get inside this man's head for an hour is like talking physics with Albert Einstein. I hope you enjoy
  this interview, as much as I was honored to conduct it.

  What is your current status and role with WCW?
  Terry: My current status and role with WCW is I'm sitting back and taking a look at a lot of mistakes being made and
  that's not a bad place to be at this time. Watching them and not being a part of them.

  How are you feeling?
  Terry: I feel great. I feel absolutely terrific. Just been diddling around, just got off a vacation, a big vacation, the
  longest vacation I've ever taken. It was to Key West, seven days, so that's pretty good. Always have something going
  on.

  How will WWF buying WCW effect the wrestling business?
  Terry: Well, first off is that hopefully WWF doesn't buy WCW. We all know that's a possible detriment to the wrestlers
  in the United States today. That is the most important factor of it. The next most important factor is that somebody
  needs to get the reigns down there. I think it's the worst environment that there's been in a long, long time. As far as
  having a direction and I think that they better grab a hold of the reigns and get a direction. Again, what is Vince
  McMahon buying if he does buy it? You know, my father told me many years ago that the Arizona
  area was for sale. The territory died many years ago. I said "Gosh Dad, we ought to expand our area, we ought to buy
  Arizona, Phoenix and Tucson, and that would be a wonderful thing." He says "What are you buying son? You're buying
  blue sky is all you are buying." That's very true. What are you buying? Are you buying a bunch of debts? Are you
  buying a bunch of contracts already? Are you buying TV time? If you're buying TV time on a Turner station with a
  number of years that are
  locked in, then you are buying something that is a viable product then that you could sell to others. But if you're not
  buying that TV time, which I am sure that somebody would be buying, but what is it worth? Is it worth the money that
  they want for it? What do they want for it? Do they want their losses back? Again, as I'm thinking this thing through as
  I'm talking to you it could be a very dangerous situation as far as the business is concerned if you assume all of these
  debts and
  everything. Yet if you don't assume the debts it could be a very good deal, if you get TV time. I keep on hearing it's
  for sale, but never have heard a figure mentioned. Is it for a million dollars? I might buy it. Is it for 50 million? That's
  the thing ... I think all of us are on the outside. What do they want for it? I never have heard a figure from any
  individual from WCW whatsoever. Is it worth it? How can I answer that? Maybe they want $500 for it. It's worth it. If
  they want a 100
  million, then no. We really can't answer that. I really can't answer that as far as if it's a good deal or not. They might
  be surprised if they had a decent figure that was not inflated too much, they might be surprised. If they made it
  public, they might have more people than they think of wanting the thing.

  Is the business on a down swing?
  Terry: You know I've tried to figure it out, if it's on a downswing or not. I always think it's on a downswing or it's on an
  upswing. I am always conscious of the swing of the business. I've been wrong on it before, but the figures show it
  right now. What you have to do is you have to add, which I have said for a long time, longer than three months ago.
  About six months ago I started saying that total up the figures. I'd talk to my brother on the phone and tell him the
  same thing. Vince is doing better than he ever has, yet if you add the two figures together they're dropping. I think it's
  a staleness in the product. I
  think the product changed and the product moved whenever the competition was closer. Right now if you add up the
  two numbers ... You know, I've gone through a lot. What would I do if I owned WCW? Well, you know the first thing I'd
  do is steal Kurt Angle or somebody with a great athletic background and I'd build my company on that. I wouldn't build
  it on anything else but that, as you have to have a viable athlete, a viable
  wrestler and a person like that to build your company around and
  somebody with freshness and new. He's not the only one in the country. There's a lot of guys you can build it on. But
  you better build on something fresh and right now at this time and I'm not talking about a 20 year old either. I'm talking
  about Kurt or a person of that stature. I used him as an example. I'm talking about building it on a reputable guy with a
  reputation in wrestling and you have to build wrestling on heritage as they have done in Japan. You look at that and
  you have to make things mean things and nothing means nothing anymore. To be point
  frank with you, that is a fault of Vince Russo.

  What do you think about the job Vince Russo has done?
  Terry: (Long pause) Honestly, I think it sucks. Let's get serious. Let's get down to the bottom-line. What are we? We
  are not sitcoms. We are not soap operas. We are not storylines. What we are is professional wrestling. That is what
  has kept us going for years and years, is what we are. What we are, we are finishes. Let's not become something that
  we are not. Wrestling has lasted forever. I don't remember prehistoric man acting out a sitcom. But they did wrestle.
  Do you understand what I am
  saying? They are our identities, but we give them up so easy. What we are is different from what they are. An actor
  cannot be a wrestler. You understand?

  More on the state of the business....
  Terry: I'm not just talking about a pure athlete. I'm not talking about taking him away from what we are and I'm not
  talking about getting totally bland. But let's remember who we are and where we came from and that's the big thing we
  have to do and we cannot give up. Yes, we can have instances from the back. But there's good television and there's
  bad television. There's good movies and there's bad movies. We are producing bad movies right now and we're
  producing a stale product on both sides. What I am telling you is that the millionaire was hot, very hot. Then they put
  it on every channel, they don't change the background, they don't do anything different and it does not continue to be
  as hot as it once was.

  Does the locker room in WCW realize the product has
  taken a hit or are they encouraged by the current product?
  Terry: I think they are using a different group of boys down there. I don't think they have totally changed the talent. I
  don't think a lot of them, and I'm not saying they should go back to the old. I'm not saying they should change from
  these guys. These guys certainly are happy at this time. You bet they're walking down the road with smiles on their
  faces and I don't blame them. If I was a young guy and amongst them, I'd
  think it was a hell of a damn good deal. You know?

  How much longer are you tied into WCW?
  Terry: I'm not tied into them and never have been tied into them.

  When you came to WCW, the WWF publicly stated
  that you were still under contract with them. Is that true?
  Terry: Total lie. Total 100% bullcrap. 100% bullcrap. That's what it was. It was just all bullcrap.

  Are you aware that you were Bret Hart's
  final opponent and your thoughts on him retiring?
  Terry: It's not sad at all if that's what he wants to do. I have a great fondness for every one of those kids and always
  have. Right at this particular time I think that Bret is financially capable of hanging it up and not having to worry. I
  wish that I would have been financially capable of hanging it up when I was 43 years old. I wish I would have been
  financially capable of hanging it up when I was 43 years old. Seriously and had my life set as to do what I wanted to,
  when I wanted to, and how I wanted to do it, my kids would have money in the bank and forever have it.
  Unfortunately I did not come through the business whenever it was in a state of making people financially capable of
  retiring at younger ages. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of all the guys. I think that it's great that he can get out of the
  business. Especially after all the shots that he has taken. That might have been my last shot, the shot that I gave
  him. That might be a feather in my cap, maybe I'm the one? Maybe I got him out of the business? Maybe that's a
  favor?

  Has working for WCW unmotivated you from wrestling?
  Terry: Not at all. Not at all. I still love the business. Being very honest with you, as I can sit here and tell you that "by
  golly I can get a good one out of my body" and I can. There were better days. I love it whenever I have an
  opportunity to get back in the ring. Physically it doesn't feel good for a week, ten days, two weeks, or even longer. I'm
  trying to cut down on it and make myself sound stronger. I start to lie a little bit, but I find myself telling the truth. I
  woke up bright and early this morning and you caught me in a moment of honesty about
  everything. It's very hard to be honest with yourself. That's the
  hardest person you have to be honest with.

  How would your father work in a WCW locker room? What would he do?
  Terry: Probably about the same thing that I do. I think that he would probably, it depends on what position he walked
  in to the locker room. As a wrester, I'm sure that he, and believe me it's not all bad. Remember that too. I'm not sitting
  here saying it's all bad. I'm saying we are below the heights of where we once were. I'm talking about the last two
  years time. You understand? My father would be in the dressing room, he'd be working his butt off I am sure, he'd be
  giving them great matches. That's what you got to do to get on top.

  What is your take on the All Japan-Misawa split?
  Terry: That's a good question. My take on it is, who is going to profit on it, prosper off it, and do better than they
  ever have is New Japan. Not All Japan. Smart bunch of guys over there running the company. God, if they could speak
  great English hire them to come over here and take over WCW. They'll profit more from it than anyone else. The split
  was inevitable. It truly was. But, history sometimes repeats itself. If you look back, you'll see where at one time all of
  Baba's boys took off on
  him. That was Tenryu, Ishikawa, and many others. The majority of his good boys took off. Everybody predicted it was
  going to die. Jumbo stayed and I think Misawa was a young boy at that time. What they forgot to realize at that time
  is that a lot of times you have an established company and there were two main stars at that time that were still with
  them. That was Jumbo and Baba. So they didn't pull all of his stars. What they did was just bring the young boys up,
  who were great wrestlers within the company and gave them the opportunity, but they mixed them in with the strong
  guys. That's the same thing that Motoko has right now.
  She's got a two or three of the old ones left. They can mix them in with the younger ones until that becomes
  acceptable and the younger ones become stars. It gives a freshness sometimes. I think you might see NOAH go right
  off the map and All Japan become stronger. When I say stronger, I mean stronger than the other group. Still much
  stronger than the closest Independent and not New Japan.

  Why do you think nobody has started another major promotion in the United States?
  Terry: Expense. You have to almost own the situation, own the
  television. You have to be an AOL, you have to be a Time Warner, you have to be. Let's face it, Vince could be in
  trouble tomorrow. TNN says "kiss my ass" if they get in a bickering, fighting argument over this WCW deal, even if it
  takes place or doesn't take place. Vince is no stronger than his television and when you are owned by a television
  company, that makes you as strong as the television company, as long as it exists. You're talking about if Vince didn't
  have all of his television stations laid out and his ducks in a row, and if it wasn't
  for his father building that, I don't think that would be possible. I think in a way that he is archaic through his father.
  You understand, but in a good way? He just moved on forward with all of that. That's not something that happened, it
  has just grown and changed. It's something that has not happened just through his life and career in wrestling, it
  happened in his father's life and career in wrestling too.

  What are your thoughts on the future of ECW and the current state of affairs?
  Terry: Well, it's difficult to run without TV. What would I do if I was WCW? I think Paul Heyman would be willing to take
  a minimal amount for his company right now and dance away, but you don't want him to dance away because he's got
  a good mind for the business. What's wrong with WCW taking over ECW? Not taking it over, just taking them and
  putting them on TV. Give half the TV to ECW and half the TV to WCW, put them on the same station, do the same
  context, which I have said for years is to have them against each other. You understand what I'm saying? Have a one
  year pay per view. This is not something that is a great, mind boggling, wonderful idea of Vince McMahon's. I've been
  kicking this around and so have other wrestlers for years. Put Heyman in control of one organization down there and
  somebody else in control of another one and put them together once a year and don't ever talk for that year except
  having some kind of coordination between the two. It would ease off the
  television and the pressures off of one person and be able to produce two separate shows and be able to prosper from
  it at the end of the year by ultimate pay per view.

  Do you think if Vince bought WCW he would do something similar?
  Terry: Well, I think it would be a very good product. Again, he would have to run it the same way I'm talking about
  because you are talking about twenty pay per views a year then. You are talking about an astronomical amount of pay
  per views to come out of one company. Then you have your one major one. I think that Vince has been sniffing his
  own farts or something or getting a little dizzy with himself.

  On the damaging effects the XFL could have on the WWF?
  Terry: It's going to not do well (laughing). I don't want to go out on a limb and keep spouting off on my moments of
  truth this morning. I wanna slow down a little bit here before I get my ass in trouble. Well, how in the hell are you
  going to watch that sh&t after you watch the NFL all year long and they burn you out, and you're watching too many
  football games right now, but they finally culminate it, just like we do in wrestling with our pay per views, but we never
  culminate them anymore. They finally culminate it with a Super Bowl every year and take a six month rest. Why do you
  think they take the rest? Because they have burnt the people out. They have and they have prospered by it. Football.
  That's why they don't run 52 weeks a year. It wouldn't draw 52 weeks a year. That's why it is seasonal, yet Vince
  wants to come in there and run the rest of the term. It doesn't take a rocket scientist you know. I'll tell you what, you
  put all of those NFL owners and what the have been through and knowledge of football and you put Vince in there and
  he would not be the sharpest pencil in the box. No, he wouldn't. He's dealing with another thing right away. Maybe his
  idea is to run this thing and ten teams and possibly one of them will emerge and then he can get an NFL franchise on
  it. You are looking at something that will be worth more than the cost of the whole endeavor. Just if he has one of
  those teams become part of the NFL eventually

  Why did your angle with Tommy Dreamer end so suddenly in ECW?
  Terry: I got hepatitis. I picked up right down there and it just kicked me right in the rear end. It sure did. I was very,
  very sick for about three months.

  Would you ever like to finish the angle with Tommy Dreamer?
  Terry: No, but I would certainly like to find out who the heck poisoned my food. I'd like to go ahead and do that. I
  think I just picked it up on the road, eating in so many restaurants.

  What happened with your proposed explosion match with Onita for CZW and Onita Promotions?
  Terry: They contacted me, but it was about three quarters bullsh#t. Nobody ever sent me any papers on the thing.
  They said "would you do this for this certain amount of money" and I said "of course I would." That's how that got out.
  I've got some guy, and I'm still waiting for his money from up there right now. I said "send me half of the money" and
  he said "will you come up here and wrestle for me" and I said "sure I will for this amount of money and send me half up
  front" so he agreed
  and he's advertising me without sending me half upfront so if he's out there listening and he's in your part of the
  country, he better get my money to me or else I'm not coming.

  What are your thoughts on Bill Goldberg and have you sat down with him at all?
  Terry: How the hell do I know? I was down there for six months and didn't talk to him five times. He just wasn't there
  for whatever reason. Evidently it was problems with him and the office, or whatever it was. I had no interaction with
  him whatsoever. I like the guy, met him on about two or three occasions. Five minutes bullsh#t and that was it. That's
  nothing bad to say about the relationship, I just don't know him. I don't know him well enough to give you an
  assessment of him.

  Would you ever consider a return to ECW?
  Terry: As far as ECW is concerned. I love them. I love Paul E., I think he is a very gifted person. If I was physically
  capable of making any run anymore, I don't know if it would be up there or not, just because of the state of things
  right now and I don't think that you'd find me going back there. I don't think that ... again you have to look for
  financial stability. I shouldn't even say that. I'd go up there and work for Paul no matter what probably and I'd be
  running around up there, but
  I really don't want to go. If he called me up on the phone tomorrow and said, "Terry, I've got to have you, would you
  come up here and help me out." Yeah, I'd help him and ECW out, just because of that damn goofy Paul E. I've got a
  place in my heart for the nut, for the dingbat. I see a tremendous amount of talent in him. You know? He's just the
  kind of guy that you could look across the room at and want to kill him and choke him to death and by the time you
  walk up to him, you'd be laughing
  about something together. That's just Paul E.

  I wish him the best and tell him that we would love to see him back in this area?
  Terry: Well I hope to be back sometime and I really mean that in
  whatever way. If you can't believe it as I tell everybody, if I'm on a plane or something, I'll be sitting next to somebody
  and I'll say "where you from" and they'll say "Philadelphia," I say "boy, I love Philly." I think that they think that I am
  nuts. I don't know, I just go on and tell them about the Philly fans. I tell everybody the same damn thing, as I love the
  Philly fans, and if they don't like you, they hate you, they'll run your ass out of town. They will and they will agree with
  me.
  They wonder where I am coming from, as I just have a place in my heart for that place up there. I really do and I got a
  place in my heart for Paul E. and that's no bullsh#t. I'd like to come back and see everybody one more time. I really
  would like to come back and see everybody one more time.
 
 

  Fantasy Match
  THE LIVING DEAD GIRL CLEOPATRA vs THE UNDERTAKER
  Hardcore Rules
  This month's fantasy match was a grudge non-title hardcore match featuring The Living Dead Girl Cleopatra and the
  WWF Hardcore Champion, The Undertaker. Cleo had demanded this match due to Taker's actions towards former
  Conservatory mate Lita. Taker looked down at Cleo and began to laugh. The match started off with Cleo getting an
  early advantage on Taker. Both wrestlers then started exchanging armlock holds until Cleo was able to get Taker back
  into a headlock and followed up with a snapmare takedown. Taker was able to easily reverse the hold into
  a headscissors. Cleo was able to kick out, whip Taker into the corner and follow up with a running clothesline. Taker
  then dropped to the mat and Cleo executed a bronco buster on her fallen opponent. Cleo then picked up Taker,
  whipped him into the opposite corner and gave Taker not one, but two chops. As Cleo whipped Taker back into the
  original corner, Taker reversed, whipped Cleo into the corner and gave her a running clothesline. Taker then proceeded
  to give Cleo his own bronco buster and
  followed up by choking her. Cleo countered with a leg trip into her patented move, the Cleo kick, not once, not twice,
  but TEN times. Cleo decided it was time to finish off the Dead Man. She gave her fallen opponent a swinging elbow
  drop and then executed the cartwheel splash, now called the Tomb Raider, TEN times. Cleo covered Taker, but
  somehow he kicked out at two. Cleo was furious and started arguing with the referee. When she turned back around,
  Taker clocked her over the skull with a stop sign. Taker covered her for the pin, but pulled her up at two, saying he
  was going to teach Cleo a lesson in respect. Taker then
  stacked up three tables and proceeded to give Cleo the "Last Ride" through the tables. Taker covered Cleo again and
  once again pulled Cleo up at two. Taker then brought a ladder into the ring, set it up, and carried Cleo to the top of
  the ladder. Taker then gave Cleo another "Last Ride" from the top of the ladder. Taker covered Cleo once again and
  again pulled her up at two. Taker then carried Cleo to the top of the ramp onto the stage. He announced that Cleo
  would suffer the same fate as Lita. With that, Taker gave Cleo one final "Last Ride" off the
  stage and through video equipment. Taker stood at the top of the stage laughing and showing an evil grin. Suddenly
  the crowd started to cheer with joy. Taker did not see Cleo climb up to the stage. Taker slowly turned around and was
  shocked to see a beaten and bloody Cleo standing in front of him. Taker made a move towards her and she gave him
  the hardest low blow he had ever felt. Cleo then attacked him mercilessly with a leather strap. Cleo then dropped the
  strap and gave the Undertaker her own "Last Ride" off the stage. She then ran down to the prone Taker and covered
  him for the three count. As she was assisted to
  her feet by EMT's, she whispered to Taker in his ear, "That was for Team Xtreme, but especially for Lita, and it was
  well worth it.". Cleo and Taker were both taken to seperate medical facilities.
 

  Conservatory Alumni Update
  A special congratulations to former Funking Conservatory graduates C.K. Sexx and Thorn on recent success on the
  independent circut as a successful tag team. The team is called SexXxtc and they have won several various singles
  and tag titles.
  Thorn is 6'1 and weighs 223 pounds. He has been NWF Cruiserweight Champion, NWF Heavyweight Champion, and OCW
  Heavyweight Champion.
  C.K. Sexx is 6'2 and weighs 226 pounds. He is a former Funking Conservatory International Champion and has been
  CWF Heavyweight Champion. As a team, SexXxtc has held tag team titles in NWF, CWF, and PWE.

  The Funking Conservatory is very proud of these young men. Keep up the great work, guys!!!

  Gossip (or questions to ponder)
  What will happen if Hyjynx becomes #1 contender to Cleopatra's title?

  Who will Adam Windsor face in the Triple Crown Championship hardcore match?

  Could you just see Bonecrusher running a daycare center?

  Has Osamu Nishimura ever been to Disney World?

  Will Smokin' Sam survive five minutes with Adam Windsor?

  Will Claudia get to referee the Hardcore Triple Crown Title match?

  Is Ricky Noble a ladies man like The Rock?

  Who wants to see Heater wear a dress again?

  Will Cyrus Po get Claudia "The Claw" to do-si-do with him?

  Manny Maivia STILL claims he is not the Rock's cousin.

  Will Paul London do the shooting star press again?

  Will Kaos cause chaos?

  How hardcore will Terry Funk be?

  Dory and Marti Funk are still the best.

  --
  E-mail Dory Funk Jr.
  mailto:fuanku@dory-funk.com

  Visit Dory's Home Page:
  http://www.dory-funk.com

  Join the Funking Conservatory:
  http://www.dory-funk.com/dotcomad.html

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